Insoluble Lunatica

完工啦

2009-08-13T23:36:00.002-04:00

终于，在从西班牙回来三个多月以后，把游记都草草写完了；前几天的也补上了些图。算是一个了结吧，嘿嘿。

西班牙－5／６（圆满）

2009-08-13T22:31:00.003-04:00

回家的日子。

一早就坐地铁到了机场。宾馆的小哥劝我们去Atocha坐火车，然后再转地铁，可以快一些。可是我一合计，好像省下的时间也还是啥都做不了，干脆就早早地挤地铁去了。机场门口等生意的出租长长地排了一溜。司机们空等之余，凑在一起打起了扑克，蛮会自娱的。

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由于我们要用Advanced Parole回美国，那里的边境检查拖延了好久，又要看我们在西班牙玩的车票什么的，还几次三番要看我们的AP，弄得很火大；实在是小国寡民啊。

上了飞机，一路无话。小何来接机的，说这里下雨下个不停，给我们躲掉了。

圆满了。

西班牙－5／５

2009-08-13T22:11:00.003-04:00

坐火车回马德里之前，又去同一家小饭馆吃早饭。

从火车站，可以看到以雪山为背景的教堂，颇有点味道。可惜今天有点雾气，能见度很低。

火车一路5个小时左右，吃吃睡睡看看风景的，一会儿也就到了。

Hotel Mora是我们这次住的地方，我们暗自庆幸初到马德里的时候没订到这里。首先这里离老城区稍远，远不及Hotel Miau方便。此外，这里不能上网，甚至连付费的网络都没有。更甚的是，晚上才发现要用电视遥控器竟然还要收20块押金。

安顿好宾馆，便又到Casa Patas去吃了点东西；一不小心却点了个cheese。还好是低档的，还不难吃。一般来说，越高档的cheese我们越吃不惯。下午便随便转了几个地方，也乏善可陈。

由于我没有把航班信息打印出来，所以只好找了个网吧；我和老婆都是第一次去网吧。查了航班信息之后，又随便上了会儿网，半小时便很快过去了。

晚上早早地去了Calle de la Cruz旁边的一个小店吃饭。前几次我们来到这地方，都是人山人海，今天总算有座位了，因为人家晚餐时间还没到......好在旅游区的小店，还善解人意，这早晚饭的生意也做的。味道还算不错。

西班牙－5／４

2009-08-12T22:00:00.003-04:00

清早起床，上完浴房，就出门。一走出宾馆，忽然饥饿难忍，便一转身进了路边的小餐馆，随便点了两个吐司和牛奶，便把自己吃了个饱。路上经过一个小蔬果店，东西看上去很新鲜。蔬菜是不成了，没法做；买了几个大番茄和琵琶，又是鸡同鸭讲地做成了生意。那水果的口味，竟真真和小时候吃到的一样，自然长熟了采摘下来的，又香又甜。

到教堂捐献了两张门票。这教堂内部很壮观，金碧辉煌。从建筑上看，是由清真寺改建而成的。

From Spain - Misc

由于旅游书理的地图与官方的地图方向不符，所以花了不少时间找方向，终于来到了Albacin区。这里还保持着几百年前不变的风格，狭长的街道，鹅卵石铺的小路，在山坡上的房子之间穿行。这里的屋主几乎都是外来人口，把这里当作度假屋的；真正的原住民应该主要是吉普赛人。所以说，这个地方其实也就是个eye candy，住在里面既不方便，也早已丧失了人文的土壤。这些小巷很搞，走啊走一不小心就走到了岔路上，转来转去的，倒也有趣。

From Spain - Misc

走到半山，Alhambra宫就在右边，所以索性一转身穿过小河，往宫殿入口走去。初闻这宫殿的大名，是从吉他曲Recuerdos de la Alhambra；于是充满了期待。可是这次参观却令人兴致大减。首先是这服务很缠人；里面一共没有几个景点，还到处都要检票，生怕别人占了他们一点便宜似的，人为地增加了很多不必要的等待时间。原本那些护城塔什么的，也就是稍有趣味；若是游客寥寥，在其间走走还颇有意趣；可现在到处人来人往，便失了体味的乐趣。这皇宫本身，有些部分保存得还不错。其实在很长一段时间内，这里似乎是无人关注的破败之地，被吉普赛人占据着。导游机里是借一个在1829年在这里小住过的美国人Washington Irvine的身份叙述的。其中提到他老人家当年住在皇帝睡房旁边的那间房间，到处乱窜听导游讲故事。对比今日游人如织，处处排队，还处处以保护的名义关门上锁，俨然这宫殿已经成了一颗摇钱树。其中最著名的一个庭院叫狮子园，里面的喷水石狮子已被挪进了博物馆，复制品却未装上，实在是难看得紧。相比之下，Seville的Real Alcaza就道地得多了。

From Spain - Misc

出皇宫，找了个旅游书推荐的地方吃饭。可是这地方以肉著称，再加上语言不通，结果弄了一堆各式各样并不令人满意的肉和奶酪，草草果腹。

晚上有网可上，可笨手机在更新系统的时候失败了，然后造成了各种各样的怪问题，没得用了。。。

西班牙－5／3

2009-08-10T22:21:00.004-04:00

早上起床后，随便在街上走了几步，到一个Hospital看了看。那个是15xx年创建的Hospital，专门用来收留年老贫困的牧师。这地方修整得不错，而其真正的精华在于此处收藏的几幅韦拉斯凯兹的真品。这孩子把人性赋予了神，还是挺有意思的。一如既往的，原画不许拍照。其实我原来也没打算拍，因为那灯光那么暗，又没脚架，不可能拍得好的。可是我就想把相机收到包里去，那个警卫就凑啊凑地凑过来；刚要开口，我手腕一转，宝机入鞘啦，把他郁闷住了。

中午找了个比较满座的餐馆，点了几个Tapas和一点酒。酒菜比昨晚要令人满意得多；更有趣的是看了斗牛的转播。这场斗牛和我们看过的不同，是骑着马斗的，甚是激动人心。

由于上次提前10分钟进火车站的经历让老婆哈紧张，这次我们提前了近一小时就到了火车站，傻等了好久。

从Seville到Granada的风景变化多端，还颇有些兴致。

From Spain - Misc

今天是节日的最后一天，Granada十分热闹，到处是音乐美女和艳服。在大教堂前的一场露天音乐会颇有水准，近百人的合唱团，女性都身桌绿裙，夸张地妖艳。广场旁小楼里的住户，似乎是见多不怪，只有一个人站在阳台上懒懒地看了两眼，就转身进屋了。

From Spain - Misc

站在我面前的那个小美女，每每随着音乐起舞；虽然那舞姿有着9成的稚气和陶醉，却是很合气氛的。

From Spain - Misc

夜幕降临，集市却依然喧闹。这里的礼品店多的是摩洛哥风格的工艺品，看上去原始简朴粗狂，虽然不对我们的胃口，却也颇有韵味，尤其是想到这块地方和摩洛哥的历史纠结，又多了一丝沧桑的味道。

走过一个小广场，广场上几个打手鼓的孩子打得丝丝入扣，那气氛。。。

From Spain - Misc

走累了，到了一家似乎是以油条著称的餐馆，要了一大盆油条（churro）和两杯热巧克力；就这样一不小心，就塞饱了肚子。

吃饱了，回宾馆，顺路又拍了个美女。

From Spain - Misc

西班牙－5／2

2009-07-30T23:23:00.003-04:00

这是在Seville停留的唯一的一整天，可也没早起。近中午出门，经过教堂时，参观教堂的队伍已经排了长长的一列。那教堂是这次西班牙游所见到的最壮观的一个；不仅占地面积不小，错落有致的塔尖，雕塑，回廊等等，在蓝天下颇为壮观。我们未作停留，直奔皇宫。

From Spain - Misc

这皇宫始建于12世纪，经过历代皇帝的修建改良，成了今天的样子。此处被联合国教科文组织列为世界文化遗产。由于我们对马德里的皇宫还耿耿于怀，原本对这皇宫也不抱太大希望。未料，走进门去，眼前豁然开朗。跟随着导游机漫步其间，不经意间竟在里面流连近6个小时。由于Seville地理位置的原因，天主教文化和伊斯兰文化在这里融合，再和西班牙南方各地的工艺结合起来（石膏模，木匠，琉璃瓦等），由技艺高超的工匠充分发挥。这种融合，甚至于会出现在同一堵墙上。导游机里孜孜不倦地讲解那堵墙，从上到下不同层次上是什么工艺，用了什么材料，有什么铭文，是哪年造的等等。就这一堵墙，便洋洋洒洒说了一大段，实在令人叹为观止。这些国王们也都不毁东西，很少把旧房子拆了造新的，经常是将已有的建筑按自己的喜好改造一下，加上两层，添个天窗啥的；于是就有了这么多年积淀下来的几十代人的努力成果。在回廊花园里，随处可见各种果树。这时候正是橘子花开的时候，满园飘香；真没想到橘子花原来是这么香的。这个皇宫倒并不像猥琐的马德里皇宫那样禁止摄影；现在想起来，也许是马德里皇宫实在有些羞于为世人所见吧----看过照片就不去了，太寒碜。

From Spain - Misc

出了皇宫，发现大教堂已关门，而明天又要到下午2:30才开门，看来是无缘一见了。唏嘘一阵之后，我们便安慰自己说其实这教堂内部估计也就了了，这遗憾多半是酸葡萄心里罢了。这样想着，便走到了斗牛场。西班牙的斗牛，据说起源于Seville和Ronda，所以这斗牛场便也有些特殊的意味了。场子并不大，亮黄色的高墙在阳光下显得特别刺目。当时有一场斗牛已在进行，场内不时传来高亢的号角声。场边停着的一辆救护车提醒这我们这项残忍运动的危险性。场边也有黄牛在贩票。语言不通的我们在鸡同鸭讲几句之后便各自走开。这些家伙，做生意也不钻研一下业务，稍微多掌握两门外语多好。

From Spain - Misc

又随处走了几条小巷，便到了晚饭时间。于是来到酒店MM推荐的Bar Giralda吃Tapa。点了两杯土产的sherry，又要了四五个Tapas，满怀期待地等着一饱口福，却大失所望。上来的小碟里，几乎每个都是一堆的土豆加上上面一点点菜，口味也平平，一盘虾甚至都没熟；难怪这里吃客寥寥，可气可气。草草吃完，走出店门，却来了一个惊喜。

店门外正对大教堂。我们走出店门的时候，天光正好是拍灯光建筑的最佳时间：灯光已点亮，天空则碧蓝。于是赶忙拿出相机爽了一把。

From Spain - Misc

又在小街里穿行了几回，就回宾馆睡觉了。

西班牙－5／1

2009-07-28T23:11:00.003-04:00

早上6点，闹钟准时响起。起床，洗澡，收拾东西，走人。不幸的是，前天洗的衣服还没干，只好再花时间用电吹风用力吹，还吹焦了一只袜子。

离开酒店，已经7点一刻。倒了两班地铁，到火车站时是7:50。终于找到了列车，才坐下没多久，火车8点准时发车。由于是慢车，整个行程长达12小时。火车先沿海岸南下至Valencia，再向西横穿大半个西班牙。沿途出现了各式的民居，成群的牛羊，大片的橘园，和中世纪的风车。在经过Villarrobledo的时候，出现了一望无际的帐篷营，也不知背包族们聚集于此有什么活动。

From Spain - Misc

火车稍有晚点，到达Seville的时候已经8:10分，晚了15分钟。接着叫出租车到宾馆，也没有什么意外。宾馆是一幢建于18，19世纪的小楼，还算别致。中庭里的小花园有几分韵味。由于我一心急着去那个节日的会场去看漂漂美眉，也就迫不及待地出门了。步行近20分钟，便到了照如白昼的会场。一路上同行的穿着各色传统Andalusia服装的美眉们和着音乐声翩翩起舞；各个帐篷里风格各不相同；遇到比较热闹的，人们便也不受帐篷的约束，在旁边的空地上扭起来。一时间，老的少的男的女的都舞作一团，煞是热闹。老婆看我的眼睛都看直了，便推说天冷肚饿要回家，我于是只好依依不舍地离开。胡乱吃了点晚饭，走回宾馆。路上忽然见到一大群骑着马的年轻人，有两人一对搂在马上的，也有一人英姿飒爽傲视群英的，煞是好看。也没搞清这到底是什么来头。

From Spain - Misc

西班牙－4／30

2009-07-28T21:41:00.003-04:00

今天是我们出门最晚的一天，到12点才出门。打算参观一下音乐厅，便直冲那里。在地铁站附近，遇到两个从Florida坐游轮来的中年小白。这两个人估计那一天没少担惊受怕；他们又不会西班牙语，而且对公交系统似乎没有什么概念，不知道怎么看，也不知道怎么坐。指导他们买了票之后，我们便闪了。

到了音乐厅，被告知英语的参观团已经满员，只有明天了，只好作罢。我可不想跟在西班牙语团里啥也听不懂地傻走傻看。再想干脆去听场音乐会，结果当天晚上是不知谁的交响乐；我怕睡着，没敢买票。门口有张海报是4/25的古典吉他演奏的，曲目也很不错，可惜错过了。于是，我们便在餐厅厕所转了一圈，也算是大概领略了一下它的风味。这地方又不许拍照，很令人抓狂。如果是为了文物保护的目的，不让闪光；或是为了秩序，不让支三脚架啥的，都还好理解。可那么多建筑里面都不让拍照，就未免太小家子气了。于是在街上随便拍了点照片，拍拍屁股走人。

From Spain - Misc

此时已近午饭时间，我们来到了美丽的渔村Barceloneta。这里现在是个生活区，所以颇有些不错的小饭馆和商店啥的。我们经过了一家又一家看似不错的饭馆，抵制诱惑，最终来到了Barceloneta Market里的一个Tapas Bar，然后上蹿下跳地点上了五六碟菜和两杯啤酒。酒菜的味道简单但是很纯正，那猪肉尤其好吃。这里的猪肉，都是我们俗称的热气肉，就是未经冷冻的，不像美国的变态猪肉，都要冷冻三个月再卖。当时随手拍了几张照片，就将照相机放在了吧台上；店家走过来看到，大惊，用肢体语言叫到：“你丫胆忒大，怎么能这样放东西？人家从外面看到了，立马进来给牵走了。包一定要抱在胸前！”我顺从地照做了。想起早上挤地铁的时候，有三个女人吧老婆围在中间挤上了车，然后趁乱想下手偷东西。好在老婆警觉，在背包拉链被拉开一小半的时候发现了。到下一站，没得手的女人们扬长而去。

吃完了饭，随便走走，先在旁边面包店里买了点面包和甜点，然后信步走到了海滩，坐在石凳上开吃。老婆一吃那甜点，大惊失色，直呼好吃。于是回程时又特意找回去，再买了三个。。。

From Spain - Misc

接下来的时间，便一直在老城的小巷重乱逛，逛得我早就没有了方向。于是，我们逛了三个教堂，三次经过同一个广场，在一家美术用品店门口看到一男在用烙铁在薄木片上作画，画得十分精致，有照片为证。

From Spain - Misc

8点时分，下起了不小的雨。我们藏身的教堂关门，我们便流落街头了。于是又按图索骥，去寻找那传书中吃饭的好所在。等找到那个地址，身上已经半湿了，可店名却不符。不管三七二十一，坐了进去。那店家挺有意思，不会英语，然后总是坐在女宾旁边指导点菜。等我们点上菜，叫上酒，才发现那瓶红酒是加州的，而非土产。结账的时候，老头问我们是哪里人，日本还是菲律宾。费了半天劲，总算说清了是中国人；他一腔诧异地说不像，然后解释说来这里日本人和菲律宾人居多，中国人很少；接着他眉飞色舞地又说了一大段话，全然无视我茫然的表情。

西班牙－4／29

2009-07-25T00:07:00.005-04:00

今天是我们的高帝日。一早（11点）先直冲Palau Guel。那地方大部分还在装修，只有一楼的部分和地下室对外开放，所以也就免费。由于开放部分很小，精彩也就不多。那地下室原来是马厩和仆人的住所；现在收拾干净，装修成一个影音室，配着红砖墙，倒是别有韵味。

From Spain - Misc

从那里出来，直奔Casa Batllo。这地方门票挺贵，一人要16欧。整个房子象是从海里捞出来的，十分别致。房子里的排水，通风，采光，电梯等都十分令人羡慕。

From Spain - Misc

从那里出来，直奔Park Guel和高帝博物馆。那地方颇远，下了地铁还要走一个多公里。Park Guel是个免费的公园，公园环境很好，可估计巴塞罗那的市民是不太会去凑趣的。这里面是人山人海，而且几乎人手一个相机。拾级而上到半山腰处，便是高帝故居了。他在1906年至1926年这最后的20多年里住在这里。房子的面积不小，内部却并不奢华，也不似他自己设计的那些宅子那样搞怪；正是应了那句话，“皮匠没鞋穿”。

坐在后院里，那环境悠闲得让人心碎。好在好景不长，坐了没多一会儿，树上的鸟儿就下了逐客令。自打老婆在8年前抱怨过“鸟不拉屎”之后，鸟儿便千方百计在她身上证明她是错的。于是我们只好悻然下山。天色已晚，又到了我们觅食的时间。旅游书上推荐了一个小店，说他们的炖兔肉不错。于是，倒地铁穿小巷地，我们找了过去。店里的小儿不会说什么英语，只顺手拿了一本字典过来。当我们找到兔子那词条指给他看，他说，”No, no, no"，仿佛我犯了天大的错。他努力解释，说那个是在dinner menu里的；这个时候只供应sandwich和tapas。那时已经8:45了，难道还不能勉强算dinner time么？书上倒是说要到10点才算dinner time的。也没辙了，本来就语言不通，只好因陋就简地点了几个tapas。

吃完结账的时候，又生周折。原以为我皮夹里的50块足够应付这顿了，却未料我的皮夹找不到了。小店又不收信用卡，只好问了他们哪里有ATM，我将老婆押在店里，自己去取钱付账赎老婆。临走，服务员MM特意跟出来，提醒我们小心我们的包，还说在街角有小偷。看她努力用生硬的英语解释的样子，实在是有点感动。

晚上洗了一堆衣服，缓解了干净衣服的供应情况。

西班牙－4／28

2009-07-24T22:45:00.003-04:00

话说昨天老婆告病。事实证明，她腹泻了；今天早上干脆多睡了一会儿，以期恢复。不出意料的，到了中午时分，便恢复了。

今天的计划：随便走走。先来到Las Ramblas的北端，开始南下。按图索骥，基本找齐了书上介绍的景点。在巴塞罗那泉喝了水，又被那变态的Palau Guel据之门外；它10:00到14:30的开放时间，太考验我的瞄准能力了。Las Ramblas上有无数化妆卖艺的人；虽然化妆很到位，表演得也够敬业，可还是难以勾起我的兴趣。倒是那些卖宠物的小摊们，还有趣些。在下午阳光明媚的时候，竟在闹市中传来了公鸡打鸣的声音。

From Spain - Misc

匆匆吃过“午饭”后，便顺路一拐，拐进了历史博物馆。这个历史博物馆的不寻常之处就在它的地下部分。公元前12年，罗马人便开始在这里建城。这地下的，正是罗马时期的遗址。从展厅倒地下的电梯有点意思，那楼层的指示是从2009年开始倒计时；到显示-12的时候，就是废墟遗址了。穿行于城墙屋舍之间，根据讲解想像着当年的景象。2000多年，就这样凝固在眼前的石块中。在一小段小径上，车辙隐约可见；还能再怎样才能更接近那个时代？

回到2009年，又冲到巴塞罗那大教堂。昨天没看到的密室，今天总算开放了。这密室里存放着13世纪一个圣女的棺醇。这圣女是被罗马人因信仰而被处决的。随便拍了两张照片，又小坐片刻，便再上路。

From Spain - Misc

忽然间，眼前出现了无数的防暴警察和防暴车，那真是十分壮大。仔细一看，原来有人示威。当我热血沸腾，期待着一场好戏的时候，老婆不停地想躲到旁边的商店里去。等我看到示威的队伍，不禁哑然失笑。示威的人似乎还没有警察多，随便叫了两句口号就散伙了。

From Spain - Misc

失望之余，继续赶路。途中遇到一个organic food店，进去买了点水和一小罐酸奶。那酸奶味道极纯正，就跟小时候吃的光明牌酸奶一样。

走在Las Ramblas上的时候，有一乞丐模样的女人，当街脱了裤子，站着大便，引路人侧目，偶有尖叫。

晚饭又吃了Kabab。为什么说“又”呢？因为昨晚吃的这个，今天中午在另一家店也是吃的这个；然后发现中午那个店不好吃，还是昨晚那个店的好，所以晚饭就又杀回来了。老婆有点抓狂，觉得我怎么能那样反复地吃一样东西。我倒觉得无所谓，无非填饱肚子而已。

晚饭后，又到Quadrat d'Or区去转转，拍点Gaudi建筑的夜景。夜景不意外地好看。由于晚上一般只有重要的建筑才会打上灯光，因此很容易可以将摄影主题强调出来。

From Spain - Misc

小走一会儿之后，就回宾馆了。赶在11点电脑房关门之前查了email，赫然发现BOA的ATM卡被block了，就因为前两天用这卡买过东西。在出门之前，我还特意打电话给他们的客服告知旅游计划，结果他们说我打客服电话没用，要给电话那个ATM Fraud Department。。。我问候他们的前三代，不过他们这种脑残非常有效地把我弄得很不爽。在电话上纠缠了半天之后，终于被告知这卡应该能正常使用了。

西班牙－4／27

2009-07-19T12:28:00.004-04:00

早上起得并不早，吃完东西出门，已经10点多了。打算好今天去Sangrada Familia参观，便直奔那里。这教堂已经建了100多年，估计还要再建100多年；那性子慢得实在令人无语。

教堂本身非常特别，规模壮大不说，主要是全部用了现代的元素，从雕塑到墙面，立柱，外形，都和传统教堂建筑截然不同。由于还在建，密室不对外开放，有点可惜。花了一个多小时排队上钟塔。钟塔的楼梯极为狭窄，估计胖些的人是会在里面卡住。有一个并不太老的胖老太，在螺旋楼梯理吓得声音都发抖了。

From Spain - Misc

在教堂里走完一圈，时间已经过了2点。我们两个饿到前胸贴肚皮。看到一个自助餐，便一头扎了进去；水足饭饱之后，便去Las Ramblas附近去转转。可刚走出没几步，老婆便告病要回宾馆了。不过，她还惦记着Las Ramblas上的水果市场，我们便往那里走去。又走了几步，有一个小教堂，便又在里面小坐，老婆再次在上帝家里睡了个小觉。醒来之后，继续前行；不出几步，遇到一个Starbucks，老婆进去如厕。。。等这次出来，她说好像好了。。。我们便折返回去，照原计划行进。旅游书上的步行路线并不长，我们依葫芦划瓢地走了一遍。其中市政厅已经关门，地下罗马时代的遗址周一不开，巴塞罗那大教堂的密室也不开；改日再来。巴塞罗那教堂里的“上香”是投币式的；往圣人面前的投币箱里投币，就会根据投币的多少点亮若干小灯泡。老婆随手投了几个，正在研究哪几个灯泡是她点亮的，我抬头却赫然发现那个是Montseratt的Black Virgin，送子的。。。

From Spain - Misc

转完一圈之后，便再次往Las Ramblas走，寻找那传说中的菜市场。由于我精确地识别了西班牙语的路牌，没有费太大周折便找到了。在买了一堆水果之后，再到家乐福买了水和一些干粮酸奶啥的，到快餐店买了一个Kabab的Sandwich，就真正上路回家了。正在憧憬之时，赫然发现进地铁站的时候选错了方向。幸好反方向只要多坐两站，多转一辆车即可，所以也没大碍。忙碌了一天，终于回到宾馆，老婆再次告病，也不顾她额头还没有我的热的事实。电视里正如火如荼地报道着猪流感，今天马德里已经确认了一例。我们实在是好运气；上次03年回中国赶上Sars，这次来西班牙又赶上猪流感，善哉善哉。

From Spain - Misc

西班牙－4／26

2009-06-24T21:57:00.004-04:00

早上早早地起了床，退房去火车站。路上尝试着用la Caixa的ATM买斗牛票，未果－－竟然没有一个英语的界面，而且说Service Caixa服务中断（我可是看懂了那句西班牙文的）。

马德里的Atocha火车站很漂亮，不仅外观别致，内部竟然还造出一个热带植物花园。可惜由于急着上车，无暇多停留观赏，决定5月5日回来时再好好看看。

到巴塞罗那的高速列车果然很快，8点半出发的列车，11点一刻就到了，中间还停了一站。一路上景色变化不多，可也颇有几处好风景。可惜300km/h的车速实在太快，没能将那依山而建的小村庄摄入镜头。

From Spain - Misc

到巴塞罗那后，首要之事便是去斗牛场买票。找那地方倒不费周折，可偏偏售票处的电脑还是打印机出了故障，颇等了一些时间。在等买票的时候，排在我们后面的原来是个白人小伙，估计是美国人，离开我们有一米的距离。殊不知，在西班牙也都是什么都凭挤的；于是不一会儿，他前面便排进来了好几个人。他也没脾气，不过不再和前面的人隔开那么远了。

买到票后，由于硕大的背包颇为不便，便先回了宾馆。等再次出门，已经两点多了。由于6点还要看斗牛，便去了Passeig de Gracia看现代建筑。跟随着旅游书上介绍的步行线路，基本把介绍到的房子都看了一下。这片城区，怎么说呢，实在就是建筑师的试验场，绝不虚有其名。由于时间所限，对外开放的Gaudi的两幢建筑我们也没进去参观；再择日吧，今天的队伍长得象什么似的。

From Spain - Misc

今天的高潮，应该算是斗牛表演了。昨天Julio告诉我今天这里表演的斗牛士都是很有名的。斗牛场外不出意料地出现了动物保护组织的示威。6点一到，正式开始。这牛奔，人跑，血流，牛号，牛冲马，牛死的镜头虽和电视里并无二致，可现场那无可回避的连贯性给人的冲击却大不同。人与牛的较量反复的进行，毫不例外地以人的完胜告终。全场共有6头牛命丧黄土。到最后几头牛的时候，下起了倾盆大雨。于是斗牛士脱了鞋子，进行最后的刺剑。

From Spain - Bull Fighting

牛被杀死之后，便被迅速地拖到场外的一个屠宰房，经过清洗，剥皮，分解等工续，然后被送入等候在门口的冷冻车。当最后一头牛被拖出去的时候，我到后院目睹了部分过程。一年轻的小伙在搬运割下来的牛头的时候，故意停顿在那里，让我拍照。可惜光线实在差强人意。即便如此，那血淋淋的镜头还是颇震撼的。

From Spain - Bull Fighting

从斗牛场出来，雨还在零零星星地下。我们信步走到仍在建的Sagrada Familia，就是那个Gaudi设计的大教堂。原本希望它会开灯，却不料现场一片灰暗。在记下参观开放的时间之后，便打道回府了。在从斗牛场到教堂的路上，遇到了一个从乌克兰来的学建筑的学生，专门为Gaudi来巴塞罗那的。也许是我们聊得比较投机，竟引来了一个自称是便衣警察的注意，要查他的身份证件。老婆一阵紧张，因为在欧洲被假警察骗的事情也不少。不过，这个似乎不假，以来他要的是护照而非皮夹，二来经我们一番解释，才知道他原来以为乌克兰人和我们发生了争执。当他再三确认我们没有任何冲突后，就走开了。

再说说我们的宾馆，那是个4星级的酒店。位置有点偏僻，却是我在欧洲住过的最宽敞豪华的酒店。不仅里面的设施齐全，房间也很大；这后一点尤其难得。可是和马德里我们住的旅馆相比，却是那家感觉更亲切。那个旅馆一共就20来个房间，前台人很少，却很友善。由于他们并不那么忙，还能经常聊聊天，提些游玩的建议啥的。出外旅游，好像还是这样的经历比豪华的装修更让人难忘些。

淋雨

2009-06-15T19:12:00.004-04:00

"Yay, thunderstorms!" 那个女同事装可爱状地叫到。

于是我问她喜欢在雨里走么？她迷茫地胆怯地说“No”。我莫名地有点失望，思绪回到了以前。

小时候，家里附近的路还没修好，到处都是挖开的深沟和两层楼高的土山。一旦下雨，路上就很泥泞，我的上学路就象爬雪山过草地似的。映像里，我的轻功就是那时候练成的。这许多年里，我只有一次，早上下着大雨，我跳过一个小水塘的时候滑倒，只好回去换裤子。

即使如此，我还是很喜欢淋雨。淋湿了以后，也无非就是换个衣服就是了，乐趣早已经体验到。从来没觉得淋雨是个不舒服的事情。倒是那些课本书包的要小心伺候着，淋湿了处理起来比较麻烦。小学里有一次，下午提前放学，我就走到母亲的学校去。结果路上下大雨，倾盆的那种。路上行人都躲在屋檐下，惊异地看着我迎着雨，不在意地甚至有点享受地劈里啪啦地走。那种夏天的暴雨，虽来势凶猛，本是下不长的。等我走到目的地，雨就已经止了。于是我浑身滴着水，跟学校门房说找我妈，然后在走廊里留下一串湿湿的脚印。不过，最后结果也挺惨：我妈不在办公室，我就被她办公室里的老师们七手八脚地剥得只剩一条小内裤，光光地坐在那里写作业，晾课本。

到了上中学。上海的天气，雨水是不少的。我又不经常看天气预报，所以淋雨更是经常。最浪漫的一次－－其实也是因为别人提醒才觉浪漫的。那天放学，天上又下起了小雨。这种雨，我自然是不会撑伞的，也不会疾走，就那样懒散地放学的走法，在一个大花坛旁踱着。忽然一声清脆的女声传来，“哟，你老浪漫的嘛。” 随着这声音，一辆红色的自行车擦身而过，那女孩回头来笑看着我。她是我们班的，还算是一个可爱的女孩。我被这么一说，竟也词穷，只是笑笑，接着悠闲地走。回味着那句话，咂吧咂吧嘴，觉得好像是有点浪漫的样子，便继续独自浪漫着了。

最痛快的一次，是某年暑假。那天我的两个表弟在我家玩。他们比我小很多，自然也没什么太多可以玩到一块的东西。正觉无趣时，忽然天降大雨，我顿时来了精神。听着那响雷一声声炸响，我心潮越来越澎湃；振臂一呼，问：“谁跟我淋雨去？” 表弟们一听，也来了精神。于是三人穿着汗衫拖鞋就冲进了大雨。不消说，只不到一分钟，我们就已浑身湿透，甚是彻底。一路沿着新村走了一大圈，遇水塘踏水塘，百无禁忌的气势。表弟们跟着左冲右突的样子，倒是颇有些古惑仔跟着大哥那样，充满了无条件的信任。不一会儿，雨过天晴，我们三只落汤鸡就回家了。

越长大，淋雨便越少了。不是觉得麻烦，就是觉得无趣。于是伞成了随身物，一旦有点雨，就嫌地上脏，越来越把自己和放纵的自然隔绝开来。这，算是进步么？

西班牙－4／25

2009-06-10T22:36:00.004-04:00

早上照例10点多起床。当我们还在睡梦中的时候，已经下过一场雨；清新的方石路上透着一丝凉意。

早饭完毕，便直接出发了。又沿Calle de Mayor西行，至Plaza de Village；再左转，到了一个较为僻静的教堂。这不太起眼的教堂，据称是西班牙为数不多的巴洛克式教堂之一。走到门前，发现数日前曾路过这里，那时就被它外墙的雕像吸引，随便拍过几张照片。今日拾级而上，首先注意到的是浑厚的木门上磨得发亮的把手和沧桑的伤痕。迈进门槛，很容易便被内部的华丽和端庄吸引。相比几天前去的皇宫旁的教堂，这个教堂要小而精致得多。处于闹市之中，神坛，立柱，彩窗，天顶画，以及各处的雕塑，都是这里要胜一筹。这个教堂就仿佛是上帝在社区里的家，有一种可以随意来串门的亲切。时不时的，那些拎着塑料袋买菜回来的老妈妈们顺路过来坐下，祈祷一番，恬静得仿佛几百年来都如此。我们随处坐下，就被这教堂的静浸没了。教堂里面走往的人并不多，因此连脚步声都不多得的。偶尔窗外的鸟叫传来，便似什么了不得的声响了。坐在我们后面隔开好几排的老太太虔诚的祷告声，仿佛没有任何阻拦和衰减，径直钻入我的耳中。这种静，让人陶醉到觉得打破它是一种罪过；我相机的快门声像是一把尖刀，一次次地划破这寂静。神坛旁的木楼梯，一望便知是厚重而有年头的，磨得发亮的扶手反射出柔和的光晕。

From Spain - Misc

出教堂再走几步，便碰上一对新人从另一个教堂里走出来，喧闹的景象与刚刚经历的宁静形成了令人会心的对比。

继续西行，便又来到了皇宫。今天是周六，所以到处都是熙熙攘攘的人群。皇宫售票处的队伍更是在广场上蜿蜒了上百米。我们暗自庆幸几天前我们已经游览过此处。售票广场上有两艺人，一人奏电子琴，一人弹吉他。琴声在广场上回荡，甚是悠扬。我们驻足的几分钟里，他们弹奏了Rodrigo和爱的罗曼史。那信手拈来的自信和优雅，很让人击案。老婆问要不要买他们的CD，我摆摆手－－弹得比他们好的大牛们有得是，可这种广场音乐的体验是无法装在那小银碟里带回去的。他们的生活是令人羡慕甚至妒嫉的。

From Spain - Misc

又走出几步，另一卖艺人在用手指沾了水摩擦酒杯口，以此发声演奏。大大小小的酒杯，竟能发出有点类似管风琴的声音，令人叫绝。再走几步，是一个半大的男孩，如痴地看着拉手风琴的艺人，不肯离去。在这样的天气享受这许多的街头即景，美得来。

From Spain - Misc

继续前行，有一女孩上来搭讪，要求签名，说是为了Unicef。既然我西班牙语不通，她的英语也不畅，原想不必太多解释；可路有好心人提醒，说”Don't do it"，才想起我也不知道签的是什么。无奈西班牙骗子的故事听得太多，只好作罢。

不一会儿，来到了著名的西班牙广场。这广场上很吸引眼球的便是一座从埃及运来的神庙。于是我们互相抒发了一阵对帝国主义疯狂掠夺的无耻行径的控诉，怀着满腔的怒火走错了路，误入密林深处。。。

From Spain - Misc

待到走出密林，已经到了3点，到了吃午饭的点。在路上看到一人声鼎沸的小饭馆，便走了进去。由于语言不通，我们只能通过肢体语言交流，在店里上蹿下跳，从柜台走到各个餐桌，指指点点柜上的和人家桌上的，终于点齐了饮料和若干菜色。籽虾和蛏子都极美味，Jamon火腿和不知名的酱料也很不错。当我们满意于这第一顿像样的午餐时，送上来的帐单却是我们两人猜测的总和。虽意外，却也未觉不值。

原想顺着Gran Via一路东行，再坐地铁去斗牛场的。可时间已晚，我们便只好直接上地铁。地铁上偷拍了一张照片，和老婆一起嘲笑了那个小丑牛仔裤。这个式样貌似在西班牙很流行。

From Spain - Misc

斗牛场挺新，1926年造。在门口取到票后，便迫不及待地进场了。这却是一场令人失望的表演。首先，这根本就不是一个传统的斗牛表演，而是一群小子们“躲牛”的竞赛。虽然有斗牛士空翻跃过公牛的特技动作，虽然有人裤子被牛顶破，可这却更象一场马戏表演，失望至极。倒是开场前的一个小插曲，还有趣些。老婆要上厕所，我便去问在哪里。问来了，找到了，可是分不清男女，结果她走错了。。。

From Spain - Bull Fighting

伤心地回到宾馆，顺路买了一堆Jamon和面包。所谓Jamon，就是生火腿，直接切片生吃的。见下图：

From Spain - Misc

老婆小睡之后，外出觅食。由于是周六，昨天我们发誓要去的那些饭馆各个爆满。好不容易找了家坐下，随意点了几个小菜，两杯啤酒，慢慢地吃起来。然后发现，很多桌似乎都所食不多，经常是四五个人才点一两碟小菜，然后大家便一人一杯酒地闲侃起来。难怪他们不怕那么晚吃饭会发胖。

回宾馆后，意外地发现今天是Julio值晚班。于是向他哭诉那冒牌斗牛，得到了他深切的同情。他又帮我们查了真正的斗牛在我们接下来要去的几个城市的日程表，于是我们决定明天到巴塞罗那去看，就这样了。睡前又和Julio聊了两句，他讲了一个他亲眼所见的一个女生被抢的故事，蛮吓人的。

西班牙－4／24

2009-05-28T21:08:00.003-04:00

今天本来安排就不多。早上睡到10:20起床，却只是为了能在11:30以前下楼，能赶上早餐。早餐甚是简单，橙汁牛奶，加点面包什么的。西班牙人管面包叫Pan，读音象是“棒”。吃完上楼，老婆继续睡觉；我则失语。

直到一点左右，睡醒的梳洗过的打扮完的老婆才上路，直奔Thyssen博物馆。博物馆不算太大，却也颇费了些时间。欣赏完写实的印象的喜欢的不知所云的各类绘画，时间已近五点。时间既晚，老婆已无心无力再去这类博物馆；于是打道回府，准备到宾馆附近的Tapas Bar去一试。未曾想，我们从未搞清楚的西班牙人各餐的作息时间，此时又站在我们的对立面，所有的酒饭之所都颇为冷清。我们便也无心恋战，灰溜溜地回宾馆吃了些水果杂碎，心中为再次错过了西班牙人一天中最重要最大的一餐而懊悔不已。闷闷不乐的老婆于是决定睡觉等饭，一觉睡到了八点。

明以食为天，我的命运早已经给古人讲定了。醒来第一件事，便是去找食。冲到旅游书介绍的Casa Patas，做了当晚这个饭馆的第一批食客。由于这里的Flamenco表演也颇有口碑，便预定了当晚午夜的座。接下来的闲逛，却将我们带到了Calle de la Cruz周围的食肆。这里的小店，都是直接在橱窗后面烹饪。那些新鲜的原料，诱人的成品，又让我们捧着满载的肚子唏嘘了一阵，发誓说明天来吃；不知道能否守誓。

其后，回宾馆小坐，却又因这午夜场的Flamenco被人批为荒淫无度，令我好生...自豪。

早早地回到Casa Patas，正巧遇到一中年男过生日。我们进门的时候，他的好友正抱着一个粉色的礼物箱子走过来，箱盖还不时地被顶开。原来，他们准备送一只小狗给他。看到他开心地捧着那和他体型相差过于悬殊的小狗左亲又吻的样子，颇让人忍俊不禁。

From Spain - Misc

表演本身虽甚热烈精彩，却也无甚可述。虽然以前找过视频，但不消说绝是绝没有现场的震触的。那琴声出彩，舞步飞转，汗水飞散。观众和台上的旁观者时不时地吼上两嗓子；我却连他们吼什么都无从可知。

转眼又到了3:35，该睡了。

西班牙－4／23

2009-05-26T21:55:00.007-04:00

飞机提前于九点三十分左右着陆。机长技术不错，触地非常平稳；可是那跑道可能是我经历过的最糟糕的，滑行的时候颠簸得厉害。当然，也许事实并非如此，可骨子里对近乎第三世界国家的没落的西班牙多少有点歧视，使我作出这个结论。

西班牙的海关很宽松，也没有什么打指纹那类的等待；入境表根本不入签证官的法眼，签证也不过是略扫了一眼，同我们的面孔享受的待遇相仿；护照更未博得他眼角的余光；态度并不热情，我却也乐得享受这没有意外，没有找茬的快速过关。

有了上次在巴黎坐地铁的经验，我们这次决定尽量入乡随俗，多多利用公共交通。也因此，在机场找地铁站便费了些周折，走了不少路。虽然我对西班牙语毫无所知，可拉丁语系的共同字根也让我对自己的西班牙问阅读能力颇有信心。然而，这找地铁的过程却丝毫没有我的用武之地，因为在很大一块区域里既没有问询处，也没有地铁指示牌；相比之下，老婆的“找同胞，找警察”的战术，连同久经沙场的警察同学的手舞足蹈指路法，最终把我们带到了久违的Metro标记。

买票也是一关。我们想买十次的连票，而机场还有个附加费。在自动售票机上买票的时候，却没有任何说明，只是问要多少票，有多少人同行。我是个诚实的孩子，所以在我正确回答了之后机器给出了合理的金额，可它却死活不肯收我们任何一张信用卡。无奈之下，就排队在人工售票窗口排队。卖票MM解释说，“Cas Only"，于是我们屈服了，拿出现金来。

机场到宾馆的路不难走，按照拓扑的方法倒了三条地铁；从地铁站出来再用昨天买的指南针辨别一下方位，然后步行三五分钟，就找到了Hotel Miau，那个以猫作吉祥物的宾馆。虽然只有十一点不到，好运的我们仍得以提前拿到正等着我们的房间钥匙。虽然我知道我背着登山包的样子很帅，可我宁愿牺牲我的帅来换取减轻几十磅的自由。于是我们轻装上阵，轻到连旅游书都忘了带。好在出门之前，我们虚心接受了前台Julio的教导良久，拿了一张作满标记的地图当圣旨，再凭着踏破铁鞋的坚忍耐力，终于将这一路上有趣些的景点基本覆盖了。

马德里颇有些漂亮MM，而且有些还不惜肉地穿着肚兜似的衣服。与纽约的人造美女不同，这里基本都是纯然天成的，妩媚之间又还少了一份造作，让人感觉颇为清新。

From Spain - Misc

市中心广场颇多，各有特点，却都是小坐小酌的好去处。每到一小广场，总有些有闲的人们，啤酒橄榄地小憩大侃，颇是自在。于是在一点多的时候，我们也忍不住加入了这体验。晚春的太阳晒着让人陶醉，便什么都不用急了，安心地让口胃去享受。

Plaza Mayor比较壮观。那地面上凹突的方石又平添了一丝沧桑感。不过，想来高根鞋美女们可能不太会赞赏。值得一提的是广场上卖画为生的人们；看到几幅用色大胆风格鲜明的油画，直想把他们都买下来。相比之下，我家里挂的那几幅产业化的油画实在是垃圾得很。画家们只是随意地将作品陈列开，便也不多看护，兀自埋头继续创作去了。想起来，如若叫上一杯啤酒，坐在边上看他们画一下午，也是写意的。

From Spain - Misc

继续西行，来到教堂和皇宫。要说这皇宫，虽然旅游书里说它是built to impress，可怎么看，怎么寒碜。非但这建筑本身又不大又不精美，远不及紫禁城的一角；里面的装饰玩艺也很难让人相信这是帝王之家。最拿得出手的，可能就是天顶那些壁画了。就灯光来说，原先的设计可能还是颇有效果的，有无数水晶吊灯垂挂在各室。可是，也许是为了节约成本，参观的时候只见寥寥无几的吊灯是亮着的，其余的房间都是靠嵌在天花接缝里的冷色日光灯照明，光色，亮度都大打折扣，十分扫兴。

From Spain - Misc

大教堂就在皇宫旁边，所以随便就拐了进去。这教堂原本无甚特别之处，却为我们提供了一个歇脚的好去处；这样虽然有些大不敬，却也是事实。我们两个坐在硬木座椅上耷拉着头，小睡片刻后，就又似充上了电一般，得以继续行程。

From Spain - Misc

出了教堂随意乱走，竟无意间走到了购物区。虽不比第五大道，却多了些平民化的喧闹和平易。兴冲冲找到了专门售票的FNAC，却被告知斗牛的票没有。对了，售票的MM不懂英文，还是排在我们后面的MM主动帮忙翻译来着。极度失望中。我们继续打探，终于在旅游信息亭里得到了电话一个网址若干。回到宾馆，恳请热心的前台帮忙打电话订票。又是一番周折后，终于成功地订上了周六的票。这周折，主要是由于著名的外包。美国人外包是包给印度人，西班牙人则外包给同样讲西班牙语的阿根廷人；然而，虽然是同一种语言，这口音的不同也造成了鸡同鸭讲的效果，以至于我的名字拼写都能听错。无论如何，在排除万难之后终于能在后天体验一下了，期待。

此时的两人，用精疲力竭来形容也不为过。其时已六点，于是便小睡。一觉醒来，到了九点。早听说这里晚饭至少要九点以后才开饭，原先觉得不解；等到了九点便释然了－－虽已九点，天光却还大亮。旁边广场上乐队火热的音乐催人，我们两个便一骨碌起身下楼了。在广场上凑热闹直到演出散场，正好天空开始湛蓝，便开始一路拍照去。

From Spain - Misc

Julio介绍了一个餐馆，在皇宫以南，于是我们又一路走了过去。路上见到一对年长的情侣忘情地接吻，忽而他们脚下有一阵异响。定睛一看，发现是一副太阳眼镜。我们正在讨论那眼镜是不是他们的，他们却已扬长而去。我于是找了个自认为十分圆满的借口，“反正这眼镜在地上磨着，也已经磨坏了。”接着我们继续走。左寻右瞧地，却未寻着。正在路上踌躇看地图，两个热心人上来指点我们，说只要走进La Latina区，就有无数的餐馆酒吧；这是个居住区，而西班牙人又整天不停地吃，所以自然不难找吃的。走过一个人声鼎沸的饭馆的时候，已近11点；老婆毅然决定就这家了。待到坐定，才知道这家生意极好，平时都要提前两周订座；待到点菜，才知道这里没有西班牙菜，而是专做墨西哥菜的。在英语流利的小哥的帮助下，我们吃到了在美国从没吃到过的可口墨西哥菜。不去计较到底哪个更正宗，这一顿还是很让人留恋的；愿天下的墨西哥菜都如此可口。末了，以仙人掌龙舌兰Sorbet和一种一口闷的shot结束。此时已十二点一刻，我特意拍了一张照片纪念这在午夜后还喧闹的饭馆，并同小哥一同嘲笑了美国餐馆6点到10点的清教徒式的作息时间。

From Spain - Misc

饭后又一路走回宾馆，便倒了。倒完挣扎起来洗澡，再记完这流水账，便又倒了。

已经四点一刻。

西班牙－4／22

2009-05-26T21:49:00.004-04:00

今天晚上要出发，白天在家上班，结果一直到下午4点才开始理包。急急忙忙的，总一心漏忘了什么东西。

六点十分出发去机场。机场安检很送，人也不多；所以七点多一点就已经等候在登机口了。老婆想打电话给“亲戚”道别，结果无人答理。

飞机准点起飞，原本我们两个人坐三个人的座位；结果一个不识时务的臭脚西班牙小男坐了过来，令一路的舒适度大打折扣。

一路无事，尽量睡觉。待到漫漫旅途结束，再加时差，到达目的地的时候已经到了第二天。

失眠

2009-02-15T07:31:00.002-05:00

凌晨4点多，忽然地醒了，睡意全无。张眼四望，还只是一片漆黑。这实在是种奇怪的感觉：仿佛应该是我平时醒来的时候，却如穿越时间隧道般身处黑夜；知道我按亮了手机，这疑惑就算是解了。既然不能再睡，便起来吧。

其实对于这失眠，我多少有些享受和向往。这些时间仿佛是中彩票赢来的似的，可以随意挥霍。在这清晨的时候里，四处都被寂静浸润着，全然没有白日的喧嚣。做点什么也好，什么都不做也罢，总觉得是安心而妥帖的。于是，虽然头脑难免混沌，身上也有一丝寒意，却也不愿再睡。

虽然是周末，可白天的时间总还是有种不属于自己的感觉，虽然一样是做在电脑前面却魂不守舍，看着电影却有着浪费时间的自责。原本，三十出头还不是叹老的时候，可是眼见着未来的种种，不免有种与“狗”同悲的感觉。年少年轻时做的梦，难道真的到了要亲手埋葬的时候？纵使千万个不乐意，我也看不到出路。

贴一首我喜欢的歌吧

苟延残喘

2008-10-26T04:14:00.006-04:00

我从来以为自己是个特能写的人，没有怀疑过有一天我能靠出本畅销书退休。也因为这自信，就一直没动作。直到偶然填表格的时候，发现年龄有了三张，个位数还不是0了，忽然有些猴急。人家大师写个好东西也要N多年，我现在还不开始，啥时候才能结束啊？所以趁这失眠而才思泉涌的夜，开个头吧。

我是南方人，却一贯以自己可以乱真的北京口音自豪。某天跟老婆开玩笑的时候，告诉她我的第一本书应该是《我的上半身》；于是被嘲笑。我的上半身的确没啥内容，没骨没肉的，还小细胳膊。相比只下，我的下半身还有那么一点有用；当然，我那条滑雪致残的右腿和过劳而费的左腿都排除在了有用的范围之外。

闲言少叙。

70年代末我出生在上海；不到一个月大的时候就被带到了离太原45分钟车程的一个部队大院，一直到5岁回上海。也许就这一段经历，就是日后大家谣传我练过武术的起源。当然，在部队里的确也免不了练了几手，比如把其他小朋友脸抓花什么的。不过终究是没师傅指点，成不了气候。

部队里的事情，已经记不太清楚。

Rendezvous

2008-07-17T20:55:00.001-04:00

Crazy passionate French ...

Gay Rights

2008-06-13T11:30:00.004-04:00

I'm not gay, and I'm not British.

It's an inspiring age to live in, with gay marriage legalized, and gay pride parades blossoming everywhere. It shouldn't be a big fuzz; the fact that people are cheering or denouncing is more disturbing to me.

Seriously, what's the problem of being gay? People love each other and choose to live with a same sex, why does it make some one angry and pretend to "save them from satan"? It's just like food, I like Chinese food, you might like Mexican. Most sane people will just be cool with that. And even for the sex life part, how different is it from nose-picking? None of these seem relevant to others. The only down side of gay marriage might be the inability to give birth to child, which is not completely true, and not completely false in straight marriages.

Up to now, I've yet to hear a plausible argument against gay marriage. Most people support equal rights for gay couples, but stop short of supporting marriage, arguing with one reason or another. I'd say, a lot of arguments could both be "reason" as well as "consequence", resulted from the inequality of rights. Assume everything is equal, term gay-marriage will be mostly interchangeable in those arguments with straight-marriage, except for some physical constraints. If gay couples cannot bear their own child, they could simply adopt, and that's as contributive towards the continuation of the species as raising our own child. Besides, lesbian couples can bear their own child with no more effort than infertile straight couples. Everything being equal, gay family would not be more of an adverse environment for kid's upbringing; just think about the hardship gay kids usually encounters in straight families.

Anyway, I'm not in the mood of writing long arguments as there're already plenty of them online; random ranting will not help either party, just serves as a time-killer for a VPN-less Friday night.

Depression Kills

2008-02-14T23:05:00.003-05:00

Last summer we went to his home for a picnic party; that was our first visit to his house. I can't say we are close friends, just FOF; still it hurts when hearing that he killed himself with potassium cyanide (KCN). It was last Saturday/Sunday, so the hurt is still fresh.

There are few reasons in the world that could convince me that a life should kill itself; being terminally ill is a good one; depression would be too tragic. I mean, physically the body is perfect, yet a crippled mind inflicts the total destruction of it all.

Six crawl once described her hiking through the Long Trail: walking day in and day out, life became so simple. The essentials of life was such a bare minimal that all she yearned for was to have a big hot pot of noodle at the end of day, or to sink in a warm bath tub if it was an inn-night. If only life were so simple always.

I've seen a fair share of depression cases around me, some were cured, some ended up in tragedy. I can only hope tragedy won't happen any more, but I know that's in vain...

Morman, Bison, Yellowstone

2006-09-19T22:20:00.000-04:00

Just for the sake of documenting the trip ...

9/1
We took the flight from EWR to SLC, arriving late night.

9/2
Although we hadn't made any plan in Salt Lake City, a flight-mate mentioned the famous temple square. As close as we were, we decided to take a look. Temple Square is the headquarter of Morman religion. They are rich. All those gorgeous buildings in and out the Square belong to them. Inside the conference center, an auditorium that could host 21,000 people has a pipe organ of 7667 pipes; the Tabernacle, where the choir used to perform, was in renovation; it was said that the pipe organ in there was even bigger, made of more than 11,000 pipes. While walking around in the square, you are very likely to be greeted by cordial Morman women, which may or may not be a good thing ;-)

The drive to Grand Teton was interesting. We took a detour, going through I80 -> 40 -> U-Turn -> 32 -> 150 -> I80 -> 189. At the intersection of 150 and I80, we stopped at a small town called Evanston. Before that stop, we had wasted quite a lot of time, marveling at the "majestic views" that we were not able to enjoy in NJ. Dinner was served in a Chinese buffet at Evanston, so we didn't leave there until after 7pm. Thinking we were not too far from Grand Teton, it came as a surprise that "Jackson is about 4 hrs away" when we stopped for gas after about 1 hr's drive. As our hotel was still more than 1 hr past Jackson, it looked kind of hopeless. Fortunately, we managed to Jackson in about 3 hrs while abiding to speed limits, mostly.

Driving in total darkness was not scary, not knowing when a deer or moose or bison would jump out was nerve wrecking. When there was a car following me, I slowed down to 10 mph below speed limit, forcing him/her to get into leading position; in less than 5 minutes, it was braking hard, and I saw a deer cut through in front of it. In the very next town, that car turned off into a motel.

We stayed at Colter Bay Village in Grand Teton. That was a pretty rustic but comfortable residence. The log cabin we lived in was built in 1922, and later moved to its current location in 1955 from Jackson Lake Lodge. It could comfortably sleep 5 and was complete with electricity and bath room, plus the location was quite convenient too.

9/3
As we arrived quite late the previous night, we slept through the whole morning. Throughout the day it was pretty foggy, making the view of the mountains dull. We walked around a short trail beside Jackson Lake, snapped some pictures. Water was crystal clear, luring me to dive into it; yet it was cold, so I just wet my feet and felt content.

Hiked to hidden falls in the afternoon. That was an ok place, not much difference than, say, Delaware Water Gap. However, it seemed the trails would get more interesting beyond that fall; unfortunately we didn't have time to explore further.

There were quite a few nice turnouts along the side-road from North Jenny Lake Junction to South Jenny Lake Junction; Jenny Lake Lodge was on this side road. The scenic turnouts here gave unobstructed close view of the mountains and the lake lying below.

On the way back from Jenny Lake Lodge, we spotted a moose cow near Jackson Lake Lodge, in a large patch of wetland. Quite ugly an animal.

9/4
Nothing too interesting, hiked on the trail along Jackson Lake again. As relaxed as we were, we went back to the cabin, and wife took a nap while I played with the camera.

After lunch, we drove down to Signal Mountain Marina and kayaked for 1 hour.

Before sunset, we went to Antelop Flats Drive outside the park, where you could easily see bisons. There really were many, so many that we thought they must be farm raised bulls. Those were cute, but probably not worth the dedicated drive, as it turned out there were way too many of those almost everywhere in Yellowstone.

9/5
Left Colter Bay area by around 10:00, then drove all the way up to Yellowstone. As close as it is, the geological features are so different from those in Teton. Teton feels pretty flat, while Yellowstone is immerced in mountains. On the road, we stopped by at Lewis Falls, West Thumbs Geyser Basin, Old Faithful, and a bunch of geothermal features. When entering the park, everything seemed so idyllic, so colorful, so desolate; we stopped at almost every place to cherish what we could never enjoy in NJ. When we drove through the same places several days later, things looked quite "ordinary" that we laughed at ourselves for being so excited over such "petty stimuli".

In summary, Old Faithful is probably the most famous, but it's far from the prettiest. With a crowd around it for every erruption, the beauty of solitude is lost. There're places satuated with color, with steam, with surprise, with formation, while Old Faithful is only faithful.

9/6
Cloudy with T-Storm possible; thus the decision of swimming in Boiling River. That is the only place in the park where you could swim in geothermal water. Driving past Norris Geyser Basin, Mammoth Hot Springs etc, we stopped here and there to take a peek. To be honest, we grew a little bit tired of all those similar-looking geothermal stuff. The Upper and Lower Terrace at Mammoth Hot Springs used to be spectacular, however they have dried up in recent years and lost its charm.

Close to the north entrance, the landscape was so different that we decided to drive all the way to the entrance, and spend some time lingering around on the slopes. As we strolled around on in the midst of cactus fields, cars stopped on the road to peek at us ---- the wild animals.

Boiling River boasts over 200 visitors daily, though we were quite lucky to strike a light-traffic day. The scenic trail from the parking lot to the bathing area was about half a mile long, and was a very enjoyable walk. As we submerged ourselves in hot water, suddenly a pack of elks emerged from nowhere, stepping into the creek downstream. The setting sun cast an even golden glow on the slopes, the elks, and the creek; sitting in heart-thumping natural hot tub, life couldn't get better. When we were leaving, the elks were still lingering along the trail, sort of blocking our way out. The lead male was such a magnificent animal with a set of 12 point antler. As I got closer to him, I could feel his smell, his strut, and his nervousness from his responsibility of the whole family. With 12 sharp points on his head, I had no plan to even slightly tease him. Finally the family left.

Yellowstone is really the heaven of wild animals; and there're so many of them, which makes driving in the dark quite dangerous. Neverthless, we rarely got back to hotel before the sky was soaked in darkness. By doing that, we were blessed to see quite some interesting stuff in the coming days ...

9/7
Today Mr He was supposed to join us. In previous day's phone call, everything was confirmed as scheduled.

Before heading to the airport, we drove through Firehole Canyon Drive, walked around Midway Geyser Basin, and hiked to Fairy Falls.

Firehole Canyon Drive used to be part of the main loop road; nowadays it is just a 2 mile detour along which there are several falls and cascades. It is also where one of the two places in the park where swimming is allowed, though this spot is icy cold, unlike in Boiling River. When we arrived, a Russian man was swimming, and his comment of the temperature was "it's ok, you'll survive". Yet I wasn't so sure.

Midway Geyser Basin hosts the grand Grand Prismatic Spring. Of course without elevation, you could only get half the picture. However, once you are on top of the nearby hill, that is what you would see. The hill is accessible from the Fairy Falls trail, but don't expect a trail to the hilltop ---- there is none. As there were 2 hills there, and I climbed both, this experience contributed a lot to Mr He's 2-hr wait at the airport.

Fairy Falls trail was fairly boring, except this herd of bison and this pair of shoes.

We were 2 hrs late for picking up Mr He, and he waited 2 hrs on the bench at Jackson Hole Airport.

On the way back, I got this cutie.

After finishing dinner at Signal Mountain Lodge, it was already 9 o'clock. The drive back to the hotel took us 2 hrs, along which we saw 1 car accident, 1 elk crossing the road in front of us, 1 bison walking along the road, and 1 bison walking right in front of us. Didn't I know night driving was fun?

9/8
Overcast. We went to Artist's Point, and the color was just right. It was quite crowded at the Point. However, when we hiked along the trail to Point Sublime, the view was spectacular and the crowd was all gone.

Bear encounters were the topic of this day, as there were 3; one grizzly, one black, and a black female named Rosey with 2 cubs.

We also tried to find a wolf pack in Larma Valley, but no luck; though the prey was there.

When driving back, a totally smashed SUV blocked the road between Madison Junction and West Entrance. The SUV hit a bison, quite likely at pretty high speed. To show our sympathy, no pictures were taken.

9/9
Upon Mr He's request, we went to Mammoth Hot Springs for the Terraces again; though not early in the morning, as he longed for, when temperature was low and overhanging steam was supposed to be thicker. This trip was not in vain, as we finally discovered some nice spots and live hot springs.

After learning that Mr He didn't bring his swim trunks with him, we decided to show him Boiling River. Obviously he regretted, complained, and voyeured ...

On the way back, there was a "yesterday-she-was-with-a-baby" moose cow, along with her baby. Also wife got scared by a sneezing bison. Some of the animals were really permanent residents, as we saw Rosey and her two cubs at the very same spot, chewing pine cones again.

9/10
Grand Finale.

Despite tight schedule, we had a delicious breakfast, visited Midway Geyser Basin again, and arrived at Jackson Hole Airport just 40 min before Mr He's flight was to take off. With that experience, we drove non-stop to the capital of Morman; well, almost non-stop.

New Spices

2006-09-19T21:21:00.000-04:00

Finally fixed up the pictures for my Yellowstone trip. Look at Animals, us, or the rest.

Although I did make some notes along the road, but nothing quite interesting in there. I'll see whether it's worth making entries here.

Dream Last Night

2006-06-05T22:18:00.000-04:00

Recently I've been dreaming more and more. Last night's dream was especially interesting, partly because I could remember quite clearly, and partly because it was interesting.

It started with a trip to Las Vegas. After boarding the plane, wife was sitting on a window seat, I sat next to her. Soon the plane took off, and I fell asleep; I must be pretty tired, or else why would I dream of sleeping? Next I was waken up by the scared voice of wife saying, "What should we do now? What to do?"; her eyes wide open, staring at my opening sleepy eyes. I felt the plane was shaking side to side, and water line was in the middle of the window. Obviously our plane made an emergency landing in the water. Upon realizing this, I yelled with excitement and joy, "Holy cow, we are lucky; my life is complete!" Sure it is; not many people could experience an emergency landing, let alone a successful one. Just as I was reaching for my camera to take some pictures, to my bewilderment, the plane powered up its engines, lifting off the water, and headed back to the airport. After getting off the plane peacefully, we were informed that this flight was cancelled, and we cannot be rescheduled for the same route in 3 days; therefore most passengers just left upset, no violent protests, no anger, even no signs of trauma. I was upset too, as the travel plan was disrrupted; so I gathered with a few who were still there, and tried to find out whereelse we could buy a ticket and travel to. That was when I woke up.

In reality what would I do? I would feel lucky if I hadn't wet my pants under such circumstances.

Let's Go Too Far, Shall We?

2006-06-03T13:17:00.000-04:00

Quite an interesting question, really like it.

Memorial Weekend

2006-06-03T12:46:00.000-04:00

I'm getting more and more lazy, just like my friends ---- our blogs keep unchanged for weeks, even months. That's why I'm only going to not down a few points about what we did over the memorial weekend, one week ago, just for the record.

Saturday, a late start. We got up at noon. After some struggling with ideas, we decided to see some movies. Several hours later, we stepped out of the cinema. Over the hedge and Mission Impossible III were what we scooped; fine for a rainy afternoon. After that we joined the Gang in Rutgers and played some ping pong, had a nice dinner, several rounds of card games, and decided to hike the next day.

Finding the trail head took us some time, as well as taking restroom breaks in the wild. We took a trail in Bear Mountain area, right off 9W. The trail was strenuous, the view was ok, and the hike was fun. Dinner at Pang Za's home, and then some rounds of card games as usually. We had a fine wine which Milk Bottle brought from France; unfortunately I had to drive, so couldn't drink more than a couple of sips.

The original plan for Monday was to do some more sports. However, The Violent Couple (Six Crawl and Pangza) surrendered. So we gave our car a nice hand wash.

That's it.

Late for the Train

2006-05-22T22:54:00.000-04:00

I'm late for the train again this morning, watching it closing its door before me on the platform; that's upsetting. Thus here I'm siting in the waiting room, carrying a full bag of heavy books to be returned to the library, but nothing to read for now. Blogging.

Just had my real "30th" birthday several days ago; the big celebration we had in April was quite far ahead of my birthday. By Chinese tradition, this is actually my 29th. So when Six Crawl asked me what do I feel about being "30 by Shanghainese tradition", I said I still have hope, for the last 1 year before that turning point. However, the other part of my answer was that I'm feeling mid-age crisis 10 years ahead, a little bit lost about what I want to do for the next 10 years, or next half of my life. The only thing I'm sure of is, I want to retire now and enjoy all the things I like, which is impossible.

Putting future plans or fantacies aside, my birthday night went like this. We went to Loucas for dinner. Loucas is a nice traditional Italian restaurant near my home; we go there a couple of times every year, to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. After a heavy meal, we still managed to stuff in a small chunk of a delicious Tiramisu cake wife bought from La Bonbonaire. That settled it, and we both lied down on the couch at home with exploding stomaches, spent a good half of the night sleeping there. When woke up, we took a shower, and continued sleeping in the bed. Quite an eventless night you would say, but it's peaceful and good.

Anniversary

2006-05-18T21:01:00.000-04:00

This is the conversation I heard this afternoon, between two mid-aged men.

A: (Checking watch) I'm going to leave now. I need to pick up my wife. Today is our Anniversary.
B: Oh, that is interesting. Today is my anniversary too. But I got divorced, so ...
A: Oh yeah? You know what, today is my anniversary with my second wife.

I could hardly hear anything through my laughter after that.

Rafting

2006-05-16T23:34:00.000-04:00

The rafting trip on last Saturday was quite an adventure. Here are some hilights:

Zhanna, Doggie, and Var had some intimate moments zipping and unzipping each other's wetsuits
Wife and Prof Tian fell into the water, and were both rescued by following boats
Thunder storm and sun mixed through the event, quite a unique experience
Water gun fighting, escalated into bucket fighting
Last but not least, a crazy night with 8 people in one hotel suite, partying and later crowding into sleep

One week

2006-05-16T22:48:00.000-04:00

It's been one week since Paul's funeral, peace and calmness are already coming back.

I wanted to write a piece when I returned from the funeral, but one thing leads to another, I procrastinated till now. After 7 days, the memory is already not fresh any more; if waited longer, I doubt whether I could recollect enough bits to make this a memorable event. No matter how you dislike it, memory of the passed-away does fade so fast after all.

The funeral probably had nothing special. Paul and Karen are both religious, so the Catholic procedures threaded the ceremony. In the beginning, some not-so-close friends and colleagues stayed briefly, paid their respect, and left. Those who stayed were mostly from the church. The ceremony was quite smooth and touching. I was not so familiar with Paul, so only knew briefly about his history; in the funeral, however, I learned a lot more. I got to know his full Chinese name, his character as a child, and some of his chronicles; the slide show of the family told us where they had been, the stories of their lives together, and the happy moments. There were pictures of them setting foot on different corners of the world; pictures of pregnant Karen holding tightly with Paul, emanating bliss and pride; pictures of the baby clinging to Paul while Paul was so clumsy and obviously scared of the vulnerable thing. I really had a hard time to hold my tears. That was the journey they had been through, the short-lived happiness that everybody would hope to last forever; yet they only had that for a short 3 years.

Time came when we walked up to pay our last respect. Through the thick and uneven plaster like makeups, I could hardly recognize this face as the same face in those pictures; this face was pale and delicate, and lifeless. He surely was resting in peace already.

The closing of the casket was not shown to anybody, including family members; when Paul's body was wheeled out of the patient's quarter, the same rule applied. Call it cruel or not, this at least avoided some heart wrenching sights.

It has only been 7 days, and we are already forgetting. Life is such a journey, it is a magic when you are alive and enjoying, but fades away with little trace and in little time when the life is gone.

66 kg

2006-05-15T10:32:00.000-04:00

I am growing pretty fast.

Rafting Tomorrow

2006-05-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

Long planned white water rafting trip, unfortunately will happen on a rainy day. But anyway, we'll get soaking wet, as I promised ... The gears shown in the pictures should be able to do a nice job.

How evil I am! Evil, evil, evil.

Paul

2006-05-07T22:53:00.000-04:00

Paul died at 5:05pm last Thursday afternoon; from that moment on, he was 45 years old forever.

I can still remember last time when we met at Costco, he was still a hectic loud new father, babbling about the going-ons of his life despite the cold wind, holding the baby tightly against himself. His first operation on his brain tumor was on 3/10; no one would expect his death in a merely less than 2 months, not even his doctor.

This is not the first death I have encountered. When my grandfather died, I was aside; he died at the age of 72. On the 35th day after his death, I wrote a piece when I was home alone. Memory has faded to a point where I cannot recall what I actually wrote in there, the only thing I'm sure is that there was a pretty faint melancholy given the limitd interaction with him.

I wasn't around when my grand father on my father's side died, when my youngest aunt died, or when my grandmother died. The aunt also died in her 40s, another pathetic case.

On Thursday night, I went to the hospital. No idea why I went, just felt like going, like to see him for the last time. There will be a funeral, but that is different. Paying tribute at the hospital feels personal.

We got there at around 8:30. Paul's wife Karen was weeping beside the bed alone at that time. Friends gathered in the library of the Hospice section. There I saw Michelle, the couple's daughter, a little more than 1 yr old. She was still ignorant of the loss, crying for milk or diaper. People were gossiping, mostly about the progress of the events; but nothing really mattered much now. Paul's sister was abouut to arrive at JFK airport at 21:20; she had been here for weeks, and as soon as she went back, she decided to come back again; still she wasn't able to see him off.

We waited in the library for a while, before some one went into the room to console Karen again. Moments later, we walked to the room. I prepared myself for that, the sight still quite dazed me. I could manage to recognize Paul, but no longer that dark-skinned healthy talkative Paul; he was so pale, without a trace of blood. Suddenly I felt relieved, it felt like Paul was still around, what was lying there was just a soulless body. I used to fear ghosts, but at that moment I wouldn't be scared if Paul was really around; I would like to see his soul detached from the tortured body, and start babbling again in his strongly accented Mandarin.

We stayed till Paul's sister came. By that time, it had already been more than 6 hrs after Paul passed away. Honestly, that was the first time I have ever seen a corpse that has died for so long, and that sight was quite impressive. My eyes fixed on Paul's hands, on which there had already developed two huge stains caused by livor mortis, when the group was praying. That sight is going to stay with me throughout my life I guess.

Paul surely didn't want to leave so early; after more than 40 years of nomading, he was just about to start his happy family life. He loved his wife so deeply, that he was questioning himself "What about Karen?" ("Karen怎么办呀?") when he was in deep coma. Now Karen is going to leave this land of broken heart, bringing Paul's ashes with her, back to home. We can only hope the best, to both of them.

28 Miles - Effect

2006-05-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

Boasting about putting 28 miles under our feet feels good enough; the 10 hours of our life experiencing this were even more "enjoyable". There were the chill in the early morning, the excitement agitated at the sight of ducks, the ghasting sight of a dead snake, the slower and slower "warm-up" after rests, and the robot dances we all performed in the last leg of the hike.

It was a fine walk on a fine day with a fine group of fine people.

More pics for 4/15

2006-04-30T20:26:00.000-04:00

These pics came through email, from Mr He.

Circle of Honor

2006-04-30T16:12:00.000-04:00

Early update with pictures

25 Miles by Foot

2006-04-28T23:25:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, is the big day, the day the East Coast Gang is going to hike 25 miles along the canal, from New Brunswick to Princeton. That will be the longest hike I have ever taken in my life up to date. Challenges? Who knows. Weather will be good, trail is close to major roads, there'll be 9 of us; so nothing is really scary, unless some of the heaviest collapse and need somebody to haul them out. Let's see!

Disappointing Pictures

2006-04-27T21:17:00.000-04:00

After getting back the pictures of our California trip, I got disappointed. There are numerous pictures displaying a weird drab color. Just when I wanted to blame the printing, some well-balanced-colored ones jumped out; that was humiliating. After some close examination, it turned out that the bad ones were all taken with a polarizer, and this becomes even more confusing.

I used the polarizer to cut down the bright sky, in the hope that the contrast between forground and distant snow peaks could also be reduced. That seemed a futile effort; the contrast was still so strong, while the whole picture showed a shift of color towards blue. Well, this is a perfect lesson showing the importance of testing out the equipment thoroughly while at home. To be fair to myself, I have used this filter while I was in Las Vegas, and didn't observe any color shift; but maybe that was because of the good weather? I have no idea.

In contrast, pictures from my tiny point and shoot digital camera turned out pretty good. That proves another lesson: the better equipment, the easier to get full control, and the easier to screw up.

Weekends

2006-04-24T22:03:00.000-04:00

Just as I decided to try to restart journaling my life, I would as well start babbling about my weekends, which tend to be more eventful than weekdays; and as I spent most of my weekends with friends, the nature of those is much less private.

I believe weekends until 3/18 have been pretty well documented. From 3/18 till today, there are 5 weekends not counting the 3/18 one. How am I able to account for all these 5 weekends is anybody's guess ---- I can't. I can only say I had a haircut on some day, and a party on 4/15 for my assumed birthday, and probably last weekend.

Last weekend was a little bit hectic, but not too eventful. Good Buddy Yavi was finally convinced to change his Friday meeting into a phone conference, so that he could delay his trip to the rural area till Sunday night. On Saturday, when we got bored with the card game, we set off to the office to enjoy the snacks, drinks, and all sorts of gaming facilities. After a VERY HEAVY hot pot meal, the card games ran into late night.

On Sunday wife and I went to Bathlehem, PA for a farewell party to Idaho Zhao, who would leave for Boise, Idaho late this month to start her job at Micron. The barbecue was especially good, and other dishes did the same good job of stuffing me up to the neck; I was happy then.

Well as I drag on, another two weekends are accounted for. My visit to California was from 3/31 to 4/9, which pretty much covered 2 weekends. On 4/1 weekend we just spent some time in San Francisco, and met with Weird Name Guy, who this time claimed he was living on the Mars. Food there was pretty good, and the waiter was great fun. On 4/8 we took the day trip to Yosemite, and that was when I got the chance to drive on roads without speed limit.

As nice and easy as typing in here, I might need a private journal for some other stuff. Wife said she needed a access-restricted blog space, while I recommended pen and paper; that would never fail on me.

Diary

2006-04-24T21:26:00.000-04:00

When wife was in China, I went through my old journal book, and wrote several posts about that. Last week, when wife wanted to know some details about an event, I just said "Check my journal yourself"; and that was the start.

Over these days, she has been studying it extensively, plucking out every details to prove that I am not treating her as affectionately as before. Whereas I never sensed that myself, it probably is true. After all, 7 years is a long long time.

Along the way, some tidbits of long lost memory have been picked up; that is the magic of Rotten Pen Tip. From between the lines, a happy aimless content soul was the one who wrote those text. As aimless as I was, it was a fine young life, which I don't have the luxury of claiming so any more. Although can't remember the details without the help of the jounal, I could still remember vividly the worriless years, like the faint remaining taste of wine on the back of my tongue.

Now that life is becoming a routine, in these 5 years there is much less to remember than the couple of years documented in my journal. Maybe, just maybe, I should pick up the pen and ink down whatever mundane life that is going on; and make that part of the routine itself. After all, it seems all famous people kept a journal, which sometimes made its way into a memoir.

30?30!

2006-04-18T22:37:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe I'm inching close to that time of life. After the big party we held last Sat, although it's still about 1 month from my real 29th birthday, it's inevitably incredibly close.

Some crazy pictures of our celebration/mourning: http://s88134149.onlinehome.us/gallery

Ok, think I'll stop here, before I sound like a age-whining sissy :) Anyway, the record that party set is, at least 5 totally drunk, and numerous quite drunk, and yet some slightly drunk. When things were quite out of control, threats about eating the pet bird, driving in reverse on RT-1 at 60 mph etc were proposed; it was quite close to the point where the house could be burnt down.

64.5

2006-04-13T23:58:00.000-04:00

kg, minimum

That's fast! :(

Speed Limitless

2006-04-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

J-132, CA

On our way to Yosemite, we were detoured on to SR-49 => J-132 from SR-120. This detour was not only very long, but exciting; J-132 was mostly without a posted speed limit during the detour. Driving through it, you could see "Speed Zone Ahead", followed by "End Speed Zone" a few miles further; within those speed zones, the limit was usually 40 or 30; between them, it was like autobarn in Germany, no posted speed limit. Unlike autobarn, I could hardly reach 60 mph; it was treacherous paths meandering through mountain ranges; there were places where suggested cornering speed of 20 mph or even 10 mph. Usually when the suggested cornering speed is above 30, you could safely do it with at least 20 mph above that; but when that gets down to 20 or below, it means business. I was doing 30 at a corner marked with 20, and heard the squealing sound from the tires; I definitely didn't intend to screw that one, as the cliff beside that gave no forgiveness.

The more exciting experience was in the night. As usual, we left the destination after dark. My adrenaline rushed to the head for what I saw; total darkness was what covered us. High beam could not serve the purpose at all on winding roads; light travels straight lines, it's that simple. Balancing among the urge to experience the extreme, the eagerness to get back earlier, and the fear for anything unexpected, it was surely the experience I would like to put down in records. Even in this wilderness, signs were posted marking "Residential Zone", and those were where we sighted a coyote, where the stars outshine lights, where the only evidence of residence were the road and sporadic mailboxes by it. By the time we reached places where we badged suburban in the morning, they looked welcomingly mordern.

Last weekend was the Rodeo festival of Oakdale, CA. When passing through Oakdale, the festive dust stired up by hooves, together with the cowboy hats, painted a subtle image of cowboy into our journey.

Google Analytics

2006-04-10T17:53:00.000-04:00

I pointed Google Analytics to my blog, and here's the result I'm getting:

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Profile Name: scentofoat.blogspot.com
# Report Name: Executive Overview
# Date Range: 4/3/2006 - 4/9/2006
#--------------------------------------------------------

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Visits and Pageviews
#--------------------------------------------------------
Date Range Visits Pageviews
Mon 4/3 14 40
Tue 4/4 14 16
Wed 4/5 6 6
Thu 4/6 7 11
Fri 4/7 14 17
Sat 4/8 3 3
Sun 4/9 4 4

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Visits by New and Returning
#--------------------------------------------------------
Visitor Types Visits
Returning Visitor 40
New Visitor 22

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Geo Map Overlay
#--------------------------------------------------------
Country/Region/City Visits
Edison|405378|-743714 10
Alviso|374412|-1219905 7
Pasadena|337866|-1182987 6
(not set)|(not set)|(not set) 6
Philadelphia|399597|-751968 3
Redmond|476706|-1220685 3
San Mateo|375550|-1222687 3
New Brunswick|404834|-744433 3
Berkeley|378668|-1222536 2
Jersey City|407245|-740621 2
Hayward|376503|-1220730 2
San Leandro|377035|-1221484 2
Monterrey|256667|-1003167 1
New York|407267|-739981 1
Wichita|376910|-973292 1
Poreba|504833|193500 1
Oakland|377950|-1222193 1
Ottawa|454167|-757000 1
New York|407619|-739763 1
Wantirna South|-378833|1452167 1
Piscataway|405516|-744637 1
Farmington|424831|-833774 1
Kirkland|476966|-1221970 1
Zapopan|207167|-1034000 1

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Visits by Source
#--------------------------------------------------------
Sources Visits
thelustforlife.blogspot.com 33
(direct) 19
google 3
msn 2
spaces.msn.com 2

Interesting facts:

I'm losing traffic, mainly due to lack of activity I guess
Visits are mostly accounted for by the list of my friends
More than half visits are from Six Crawl's blog, that's a good place to place ads :)
Due to the massive success of Six Crawl's novel, I got most clicks on Monday

Browsers:

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Profile Name: scentofoat.blogspot.com
# Date Range: 4/3/2006 - 4/9/2006
#--------------------------------------------------------

#--------------------------------------------------------
# Browser & Platform Combos
#--------------------------------------------------------
Browsers - Platform Visits
Internet Explorer 6.0 - Windows XP 24
Firefox 1.5.0.1 - Windows XP 14
Firefox 1.0.7 - Linux (unknown version) 5
Mozilla 1.7.8 - Linux (unknown version) 3
Firefox 1.0.6 - Windows XP 3
Firefox 1.0.7 - Windows 2000 3
Internet Explorer 6.0 - Windows 2000 3
Firefox 1.5 - Linux (unknown version) 2
Firefox 1.5.0.1 - Macintosh PPC 2
Mozilla 1.7.12 - Linux (unknown version) 2
Firefox 1.5.0.1 - Linux (unknown version) 1

Firefox is used more widely than IE in my audience; however, sadly on windows IE is still dominant.

Funny Numbers

2006-03-24T22:13:00.000-05:00

These numbers are from a research in the database of a dating service website.

Male and female users typically reported that they are about 1 inch taller than the national average
Men are in line with the national average on weight, women typically said they weighted about 20 punds less than the national average
70% women claimed "above average" looks, including 24% claiming "very good looks"; 67% men claimed "above average", including 21% "very good looks"; 1% chose "less than average"
4% of men and women claimed more than $200k annual income, while less than 1% of typical internet users actually earn that (here one doubt is where that 1% stat comes from)
Men who posted a photo get 4 times more emails than the ones who didn't; for women, that ration becomes 6 to 1
And here is the best; men who say they want a long-term relationship do much better than men looking for an occasional lover; but women looking for an occasional lover do great

Now what are your thoughts besides saying these numbers are hilarious but imaginable.

Flame Teasers

2006-03-24T10:56:00.000-05:00

Obviously a lame topic I posted last night started a fire. It's not hard to foresee though; one topic is guaranteed to be eternal: girls.

Boys talking about girls, girls talking about girls, that is endless. Girls flattered, girls offended, boys joking, boys mocking, girls revenging, girls biting, boys wincing, boys execusing; nasty, but hot.

Travellers

2006-03-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

Dipper

Kite

Roamer

What kind do you think you are? I would love to be the latter two; but it seems my expertise is one of the most useless ones for that purpose. Being a construction worker, or a mechanic, or a doctor would be good.

Tricks to Lure Girls

2006-03-23T00:17:00.000-05:00

It's really not wise to leave such a nostalgic post at the top, it only shows my weekness; I'm obliged to write a new post, and another post soon only to drown that one deep into history.

This topic should be pretty provoking: what are the most effective tricks in luring girls. As surely I'm not good at these tricks, and history has proven my failure in using any of these, they only serve as a theoretical weapons of mass seduction, without any first-hand applications.

Playing guitar

Taking girls for a ride on a motocycle

Obviously I'm quite ignorant in this field, suggestions? This could be a good reference for the Var and Zhanna kind.

The Other End of the Tunnel

2006-03-20T22:39:00.000-05:00

Saturday, March 18; Saturday evening.

This probably was my first time driving throught Holland Tunnel, or at least the first time I could remember. I was stuck in traffic for more than half an hour before entering; as soon as I was inside, the dim light, the off-white walls, even the whirling sound of the air circulation system, vaguely hinted something to me; suddenly I felt lost in the time-space. It felt like I was only minutes' drive from my parents, my home in Shanghai ---- the tunnel is so much like Da Pu Bridge Tunnel. Driving alone, without the interruption of any conversation, I was able to let my thoughts wander. I have always favored a song by Jacky Cheung (张学友), named 纽约的司机驾着北京的梦; however, it could only be a dream, as always. On the other end of the tunnel, how I wished it would be the familiar signs and roads guiding me home; instead, this tunnel was only on my way to pick my wife up at the airport, who just came from the home on the other end of the globe.

I hate to admit I've finally got a bit of homesickness after more than 3 years of no returning. There is even no reason for this hating. Maybe it's only because I'm too aware that even after so many years from home, I can still hardly call this place a home; even if I could visit *home* for several weeks, it is never the same sweet place as before; everything, whatever sweetness deeply planted in my memory, can only be memory forever.

Sleepy Now, Kind of Early

2006-03-17T23:42:00.000-05:00

As days passed by, I didn't make any attempt to post any thing here. It seems the fate of my previous journals is inching closer towards this blog as well. At the beginning, I fervently posted multiple posts in a single day, only to see this trend dimishing to less that a trickle.

This blog was started less than 2 months ago, 1 week after my wife left for Shanghai. At this moment, she should be already onboard the flight to Seoul, where she'll transfer for JFK. I have a window open on the other monitor beside me, keeping an eye on the status of the flight, just as what I did for her departure flight. It is hard to say why I am doing this, maybe a mixed feeling of eagerness for a change of life style, in both cases.

I have been reading a book about a solitary journal of a woman on a bike, across the continent. It is not a book with dramatic story lines; it more or less just followed the timeline of the author's travel, and the flow of her thoughts. As I read throught it, I am almost 100% sure I won't remember those roads, towns, or people; at most I might remember some nice places she laborously depicted. I still enjoyed it, as she did something I might never be able to achieve. That actually is the main thing that kept me engaged in the past several days and not posting anything there.

Something about Quail

2006-03-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

Quail is suspicious in every way these days.

Last Friday, Milk Bottle called him up to invite him for a dinner gathering with two of their high school classmates, both beautiful ladies; Quail rejected saying he had plan.

Doggie invited us for a hike in Delaware Water Gap on last Saturday; Quail rejected saying he was sick with bird flu.

Now story from Six Crawl saying Quail was using the excuse that he didn't want to be a light bulb in Doggie couple's hike, while not mentioning anything about the fictional bird flu at all.

From all these facts, it is pretty sure that Quail did not *want* light bulbs.

鹌鹑有问题！

Peace Corps

2006-03-11T00:14:00.000-05:00

When read about Peace Corps, I bacame interested and did some search. It is a volunteer based non-profit organization. The missions last for 27 months, without home visits during that. It also provides allowances for living and traveling; sounds like a pretty good experience. However, I am not qualified for one reason, that is I'm not a US citizen.

But anyway, there is still hope, as there is not upper limit on age in volunteering. Spending a little bit more than 2 years, experiencing places in greatest needs, would be a very nice touch for the life. This might well be the reason for me to apply for US citizenship in the future. (Otherwise, why bother?)

NYPL

2006-03-09T23:26:00.000-05:00

New York Public Library is superb. Years ago I applied for a card, but didn't use it even once. Today I went there again, trying to get a new card, only to be told that my old card is still valid. Suspicious, I tried to borrow a book with it, and succeeded.

As I live in NJ, I also have a library card there. When compared side by side, it becomes obvious that the NY one is far superior in every aspect. I can request hold online, request books to be shipped to a particular branch, borrow audio and video materials, all free of charge; let alone the abundance of books; there are a long list of painstaking services, for the only purpose of making books accessible to every one. Just seeing such a well organized effort makes me feel happy that my NY state tax dollars are at work.

Train Delay

2006-03-09T23:25:00.000-05:00

The 7:44 pm NJ Transit train was delayed for more than 1 and half hours, due to an accident near Newark Airport station involving fatality.

Wife's Job Scratched

2006-03-09T23:23:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason, she is not going to work in Beijing. Don't know whether I should be happy or be sad for her.

Too Lazy to Find A Title

2006-03-09T22:27:00.000-05:00

It's been several days of lazying around without writing anything; not that I don't have a topic, just laziness. However, now I don't really have a good topic. When I think of something writeable, I usually write down a title. This works fine if I pick it up soon enough, I can usually still remember what I want to write and some cue lines. This time when I have a couple of days-old titles, I don't have a clue on how to flesh those out.

One of the titles is Mike Mullane. That's the name of an astronaut, who wrote the book I just finished reading a couple of days ago. That guy is pretty good at writing. Sometimes he would resort to the accumulation of dazzling adjectives, to express some of the poetic thoughts; unfortunately that feels like too much condiments in a fine dish, which tends to spoil it. That said, I still like the book; simply because it's a book about his own life, and his life is as an astronaut.

I guess most boys once had a dream about space trips. What we have never realized is the risk incurred in this dream. The space shuttles have more problems than Microsoft software; some are design flaws, some are simply fatal bugs. If I were to take such a wonderful trip with a 90% chance of survival, would I take it? That's a very good question. I want to jump up and say yes, only to balk when seeing my wife's face in my mind's eye.

I like the narrative tone of Mike Mullane, he was telling his real stories, his joy when getting a mission assignment, his fear before the launch, and their faked smile in group photos before launch. These tiny little details are drastically different from the pompous official propaganda, morphing steely and brave astronauts into earthlings with joy, tear, and most importantly, fear. Therefore, the lives lost in the failed Challenger and Columbia missions are no more represented by weary numbers, they are sons, daughters, fathers, monthers, and friends.

The other book I skimmed through in this week is Generation Debt. The author is a beautiful girl graduated from Yale. The main topic in this book is the yonger generation are facing much more dire problems than the previous generation, listing education cost, job availability, future prospect etc in a hopeless tone; although the last chapter is named Waking Up and Taking Charge, the wake up call is dry and weary. It is true that the government, and the whole elder generation, are slowly going down a path that would result in deserting the younger and providing them a dire future by living in the present. However, it is hard to be convinced that the minimum wage here is more than three times of the daily living expense for almost half of the world population. Anyway, this is a complicated problem with intricate reasonings, I'm not going to dive deeper, so that book was put away.

The Super Gs

2006-03-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

As while reading Riding Rockets, I did some calculations. According to the astronaut, the acceleration during launch could reach a little bit more than 3Gs. Be noted that is pure forward acceleration, which builds up the speed travelling forward. As 3G really sounds exciting, I scratched on a piece of paper, trying to see how many Gs we could usually experience, in a passenger car, or even a super car.

For that purpose, I used well publicised 0-60 mph data. 60 mph is roughly 26.67 m/s. For my car, it can reach 60 mph in a pathetic 7.5 seconds. That translates to 0.36G. If your car can reach 60 mph in 6 seconds, you can experience 0.45G if you floor the gas. Now comes the super car, the most powerful and fastest passenger car, Bugatti Veyron; it can do 0-60 in 3 seconds, still that's less than 1G. Maybe the only way to experience an acceleration of 1G in my life time would be jumping off a mountain, head first; even strapping a big rock on me won't make that more than 1G.

抚琴

2006-03-04T20:19:00.000-05:00

There is no English translation for this.

Several days ago, I received a catalog through mail from musiciansfriends.com; a review comparing several models of Cordoba guitars caught my attention. I had noticed Cordoba a long time ago, mainly because of their relatively low price on finely made classical guitars; this review reinforced my perception. For a moment, I felt the urge to order one right away. However, given the famous admonition "impulse is a devil", I allowed a certain cooling period, then chickened out.

抚琴 is the exact expression to describe the intimacy between the player and the instrument; it gives life to this interaction. Through smooth and fluent glides of fingers, life is infused into the instrument, which in turn emanates the vibration through the air, eliciting a zen like pleasure; the sound is not only heard by the ears, but also felt through the finger tips, all the ten of them; when a harmony of all the senses echoes inside the body, a transcending ecstacy overwhelms. Damn it I could only salivate at this heavenly experience without being able to reach it.

Near Death Experience, Ross Style

2006-03-02T23:13:00.000-05:00

When I was walking into Penn Station in the evening, many people started running towards the exit, shouting "Get out, police said get out"; a pretty scary scene. I started sniffing around, but couldn't sense any smell of exploded explosives. Soon the hallway, usually quite crowded at this time of day, became empty. I was suspicious, because obviously some military person on duty was as confused as I was. As my train was already boarding, and I didn't have any time to spare, I headed towards the track ignoring those runners. Soon announcement came saying previously broadcasted warning was only a drill; I doubt it, could be some screw-up of our dear safe-guards again. But anyway, it seems no one died of a heart attack.

Tears

2006-03-02T22:57:00.000-05:00

Tear is a weird stuff; people shed those when they are sad, happy, excited, surprised ...

Tear, as a word, is also a strange combination of seemingly unrelated things. The salty water drops we excrete, versus the action of ripping apart, those do not look too related in my eyes, although it might make a tiny bit of sense when you say ripping hearts apart invokes tears; but that is quite far fetched.

Although tears are not so enjoyable, people love them. There have been numerous songs containing "Don't Cry" or "Tears" in the title or the words, countless TV series and books counting on eliciting as much tear as possible in order to make big bucks. Even in classic works, tragedies seem to overwhelm comedies in the number.

Nevertheless, I have been infused with "man shed no tears" ever since I could understand the first word. Obviously it was partly because of my parents' selfishness, because me no cry would give them a much easier life; only I was not a man yet at that time, sorry for them.

Grown up, I can hardly remember when was the last time I shed a drop of tear. Most recent such incidents happened in dreams, always some eternal departure with closest family member, friend etc; not too many of those, so I guess shedding tears in dreams is only a way to let out the overflowing tear gland. Further back, there was a time when I first arrived in the US for a couple of weeks, and wife started weeping with homesickness; I felt exhausted and helpless and weak, then shed a few drops of tears. Before that it would be more than 10 years of absense of tears as far as I could remember. I would choke on something really touching, like Kevin's picture I posted the other day; but no damp eyes.

When I saw men openly crying for a new baby, a new house, or even a surprise party, I got stunned. Since when tears are so cheap? But slowly, it came to me that tears are cheap; what is not cheap is the real feelings behind that, and the heartily exchange of those with the closest. Tears are cheap so that it could be easily accessible to express yourself fully, no matter what occassion. Despite that, I would not follow that path; partly because after so many years of abstaining from crying, my tear glands are more or less dysfunctional.

In Brokeback Mountain, the cowboys would rather shed blood than tears; this alone has flooded Six Crawl's eyes and noses and the whole face. I was simply envious.

Tears and cheers are close.

Polite Kid

2006-03-01T20:44:00.000-05:00

Polite Kid is Aunt Sun; and according to Six Crawl, she is a sterotype of "heavy color light friend" (willing to sacrifice friendship for lover).

As civilized people, we surely are all familiar with the social code of conduct; however, Polite Kid gives an extra run. //find a quote in chat log

It does sound funny that a polite friend could make me uncomfortable sometimes, but that is the fact. Not only me, Six Crawl, maybe the closest female friend of Polite Kid's, also complained about the same thing some time ago. When thanked for tiny petty thing, I often end up wordless. What to respond? "You're welcome"? That's a surely correct but idiotic answer between close friends. Searching for an appropriate answer would render me dumbfounded in appearance, thus turning me into an idiot; even a 3-year-old could respond without a thought, yet I am stuck. I hate to be perceived as an idiot even if I were.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is not to complain, or to admonish, or anything else; I just came to this nice and perfect nick name for her, so I decided to document it: Polite Kid, a.k.a. PK.

Refuse to be Sensitive

2006-03-01T01:00:00.000-05:00

There are some limits of my artistic taste, and some poets are definitely beyond those limits; not that they are not good, they are too good that I intentionally refuse to appreciate them; I refuse to be sensitive.

Music is mostly fine though. Even if it evokes some subtle sensitivity, it is only implicitly eliciting the finer side of my soul; given most of the time I only listen to music half heartedly, I rarely feel the aroused uncontrollable passion; even when that happens, usually there is no one around so I could go into complete ecstacy.

Despite my occassion appreciation for the infatuation, I would rather clam up my finest feelings, and keep an indifferent eye towards the world. Not that this is cool, I could be dragged too deeply into the turmoil otherwise. I have always kept this(Kevin Carter)story in my mind. Kevin Carter walked away from the torturing scene after taking the picture, without giving a helping hand; I would probably do the same thing. Then what? One thing is certain, I would not like to end up like him; but as indifferent as I strive to be, would I ever be immune to such a suicide? I have no idea.

P.S.
The linked picture itself is so compelling that could bring tears to many seemingly indifferent people. I feel a pinch in my heart every time I see it, and it only get worse as I see it once and once again.

Hot Chocolate

2006-02-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

Before wife left, I bought a huge box of Swiss Miss hot chocolate. I knew it is tasty, and never worried about its Costco packaging. With the mellow sound of guitar strings vibrating through the air, the misty steam hanging above the sweet cocoa surely confers something mysterious.

Despite my effort to stuff my stomach with every meal, and between meals, I still don't gain much weight. For the record, I kind of improved that from 62.5 kg to 63 kg, but that's hardly out of the range of instrumental error.

Flying Quail

2006-02-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

Have been lazy for the weekend; actually, weekends are usually the busiest for me. I get around 3 hrs ever day on week days; while on weekends, I usually none. Not that I'm not enjoying that, on the contrary, being with friends is surely one of the most enjoyable things.

After almost 1 year's dormancy off ice, we did some skating on both Sat and Sun. It was the usual process of getting used to the slippery first, then gliding through it, and having some good falls. After just one fall on the side, a swolen pelvis would prevent me from hanging my laptop bag on this side for weeks; yet it's still devilishly enjoyable.

My Sunday adventure on ice was with Quail; he is a very smart guy. When picking up new skills, he takes a very systematic approach, or rather theoretical approach: looking for tutorials, feeling it on a solid ground, then venture on the real thing. That way he could make rapid progresses no matter what he is trying; and sure enough, he was like a flying quail on the ice soon enough.

On the contrary, my approach is much more brute force, it is traditionally called try-and-error. Even after being battered by reality so many times, it's still my favorite approach; I guess that is the difference between smart and dumb; and that should be the reason people call me Daizi (dumb headed) all the time. No matter what, experiencing the struggling and slowly stewing out the taste of fun looks wickedly fun to me despite the bruises suffered from it.

A Tone (调调)

2006-02-24T22:18:00.000-05:00

As it is Friday, I left the office a little bit earlier than usual; surprisingly, instead of darkness, the last streak of light was still cast over the beautiful city. Looking down Broadway gave me a picturesque silhouette over the dim sky. Really love the bustling city, even only as a passer-by.

Senseless Ramble

2006-02-23T23:35:00.000-05:00

Wife always says if it wasn't for her, how would I ever find a wife in this life. I highly suspect the validity of that statement, but at least it hits one point, I am not a magnet to girls. Whether I am OK with that fact does not really matter, although I really don't mind much.

When a child, I did play with girls from time to time; while mostly boys stay with boys. There were quite some wild activites that were not for the faint-hearted parents. Most memorable ones include crawfish fishing, setting wild fire in open grasslands in winters, building floating devices and running it in pits left in construction sites, playing and being bitten by snakes ... I bet even if we tried to invite girls to join us, few would have taken the risk; besides, my playmates were usually the lowest ranked ones in the class that every parent would urge their child to avoid. By the way, I really hated when people call them bad students just because they weren't good in getting high scores, they were otherwise perfectly fine and fun playmates; they were the ones who first set their feet on a turf that was outside schools. As I happened to be able to get high scores in archaic tests, I was first warmly welcomed by the parents of my playmates, only to be later recognized as a helpless boy that only cared about having fun.

Staying with such a group really gave me a different perspective about our limited life at that time. I didn't really participate in any questionable activities of those "gangs", yet I got famous enough to be recognized by quite some stranger gangsters by face. And rumor was spread that I was a good hand in kungfu. The most impressive kungfu in that regard that I can remember would be crushing pencil boxes with my head, tens of them, of different materials. (There was a period that people got so excited about this that they handed any pencil boxes they could put their hands on under my forehead, and you could hardly find a single one made of tin sheet still in regular shape throughout the classroom.) Spreading such a rumor might be a way to protect me by one of my playmates, but I never got to know who did that and whehter that was really the intention. If it was really for my protection, it surely worked ---- years after I lost contact with them, someone I didn't know stopped me on the way requesting money, but suddenly recognized me and politely let me go. In all those years I kept hanging out with them, seeing them gang-talk, bragging about the bloody fights they picked up, money they "collected", or girls they "played". However, I experienced none myself. The only sort of "criminal" thing I did was smoking with them in the restroom in school, which was subsequently caught by a teacher with solid evidence.

That life ended in early middle-school years. The middle school was a key school in the district, so it was hard to find any gangster-ish guys in the class; at the same time I slowly lost contact with those old frieds. I still made friends with those "low-rank" students in the class, but they were not the brutal trouble maker kind any more; however, the damage power still exists, those were the years when we played wild fires every day in winters.

High school was a completely different chapter, which deserves another post by itself. One thing I would mention is, it was since then did I experience the impetus towards an opposite sex. Although we also fruitlessly drooled over beautiful girls in elementary school and middle school, that was quite kiddish when I examine it today. In high school, things were different. After all, puberty is not only about the body. However, due to my magnetlessness if not repellence towards girls, it was as fruitless as ever. Neverthless, those were the most beautiful 3 years of my life, and I keep regurgitate the sweet and bitter of it till today.

One day when I was in college, I suddenly received a Christmas card or New Year's card from a girl. On that, it said "Let the incandescence of love shine upon us in the new year, shall we?" As that was a question mark, I replied no. At that time I was really enjoying my single life, and didn't give a thought as to starting a relationship. To be frank, I passed a note to that girl years before, and got rejected for no obvious reason. But my replying no was nothing of a revenge or guarding my self esteem; I just felt like setting myself free, really free, sky-is-the-limit free, and getting a girl friend surely wasn't the right thing for the course. It was then when I started practising classical guitar. (I am such a bad student that even after more than 10 years, I still can't play a nice piece.) That mentality lasted for several years, and then I fell in love and got married.

I wouldn't say those lonely years were irresistably enjoyable, but surely they were cherishable. It was in those years the admiration towards Robert Kincaid, the old man Santiago, and Richard Feynman was planted in my mind; I started to understand the weird mixture of wisdom, tenacity and imploding passion of a real man; I started to taste solitude by licking myself like a resting lion (or cat, I don't care); I was getting ready to take full charge of my future years.

Now six years into marriage, I am set alone again for the first time for months; and even more after wife's scheduled departure in March or April. No one knows what will become of the future, but surely I will nourish in a completely different life, and appreciate as always when looking back.

The following is just a small piece that I feel really nice to be written down, but doesn't seem to fit anywhere in this post. Anyway I'm still putting it here, for the record,

A lonely soul is crouching in the corner, peeking through the darkness, trying to get a glimpse of the boisterous world.

Sound of Spring

2006-02-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

It was freezing cold last week, getting slightly better ever since.

When wife is away, I have been walking to the train station every morning. It is a 25 minute walk across apartment buildings, little league fields, various styles of houses, and a grave yard. Not too short a walk, just enjoyable in a good weather.

Yesterday morning I was partly waken up by the chirps of birds. I used to hate that. What could be better than a sweet dream, and what could be worse than that being interrupted abruptly? However, yesterday I felt different. It felt like a long lost friend, like birds had not been around for the whole winter, and suddenly came back. Maybe that was the truth, or just my imagination and ignorance to them all along. Anyhow, I started noticing the birds along my walk.

Although it was still chilly with temperature hovering below 30F in the morning, the scent of spring was already seeping through the air; the most daring signs would be the chasing birds. By zooming through the sky, flashing their glaringly-colored feathers, their chorus of love is already in full bloom. Although I couldn't see any green buds on the trees yet, but sure enough before I could notice, it will be green with life everywhere.

I used to hate the brain-dead stupid birds; they aren't capable of communicating with people at all, not like dogs, cats or horses. However, my experience with a little sparrow changed my perspective.

That was before I had a car, I was walking to and from the train station every day. As it was in late spring or early summer, the walk was pleasant. Just as I was able to see my home, a small brown ugly moving thing also entered my sight. The crisp yellow beaks told the age, that was a baby sparrow that could not fly at all. No one would know how it came out of its nest and hit the wild journey of its own. I brought it home.

Usually sparrows are not easy to tame. However as this one was so young, it got accustomed to my home pretty quickly, and started eating. Its schedule was so crazily funny; it would eat, stay calm for 5 minutes, drop everything from its small tummy, and yell loudly for another round of food. This would continue all day long, until we got exhausted and turned off the last lamp. On the next morning, at the first sight of sunlight, it would start its new quest for food. Ever since that little thing came to our home, wife mostly stayed home to take care of it, even gave up her favorite activity ---- shopping. It was endless hassle and fun. The little guy grew day by day, growing feathers, hopping around and dropping around, finally started to learn flying and picking up rice bits from the floor. (Before that it just yelled for food and food would go directly to its mouth.)

Unfortunately, a pretty bad flu hit it. It started sneezing, became listless, and stayed put all day long. On one day, it came back a little bit, chasing rice bits on the slippery floor again, only to die on the next morning.

That was a pretty sad ending, while it showed us the magic of a tiny life, be it a bird, a dog, or even a bug. We felt the joy of watching it grow, without asking for anything in return, not even a meaningful exchange of sight. I cannot explain why.

Now that the sound of spring is in the air, a new round of chasing for life has started. After 4 years of sitting in a car over this path, I am blissful to experience this all again.

Que sera sera . . .

2006-02-21T22:54:00.000-05:00

With the blocker out of my mind, here comes some more stuff of our lives over the weekend. Last weekend was a relatively quiet one; we played, till not too late; we ate, fine dishes, yet not too stuffed; we cracked jokes, just to entice a trace of smile. All was so peacefully enjoyable.

Monday was also off, for President's Day. Besides handing in my tax forms to an accountant, I did a little bit shopping for food, and cooked myself another enjoyable meal. After all these years with a conjoined-twin-like wife, I will learn to live alone again.

Although it's only Tuesday today, the gang is already happily planning for the weekend event, where we have 2 birthdays to celebrate. To be honest, I'm always the one who's most indifferent to birthdays, especially after 28 of my own, natural tendency is towards ignoring any more of it. Anyway, it's still a perfectly fine excuse for a fun fun weekend with friends.

Life as a Journey

2006-02-21T14:52:00.000-05:00

There have been some never ending questions, why we are here, what we are seeking, where we should end up at. People give different factors to all facets of life. Not to say everyone is blocked in the view, life has such a gamut that wishing to see it all would just sound ridiculously ambitious. I, as a humble and mediocre voyager, will just happily pickup the tidbits along this journey of life.

Six Crawl, Milk Bottle, Pangza, even the seclusive Zhanna all have made their opinions heard, my greatest appreciations to them. At least half of them had their own experience of the matter to back their predictions, yet ultimately two directly oposite camps were formed. It is not remotely possible to say who is right who is wrong, it is just different takes of the greatness of life. In my understanding, life is experience; it is not limited to emotions, to love, to bond of blood or such. If I object to my wife's attempt to establish herself, she would likely regret at age 80, so would I. Maybe simply staying together for life is good enough for some people, yet I beg to differ, so does Milk Bottle, so does my wife.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I believe I am fully prepared to take the risk. That is not to say I won't be weeping, I cannot guarantee that; but even so, I will strive to wear a smile on the face, steer into other branches of life and absorb the beauty along the way. Six Crawl said we were putting a piece of fine china into a wind tunnel; I see this as the price of the experiences, and it is worth it.

I am glad that Six Crawl has also written down her dream about my falling off a building; that would be a fine piece for us to consume in the many years to come. Be it a mental or physical fall, I will enjoy just the same. I value the love in life, but I admire the splendor of life more.

Everything is a god given; I am optimistic, not in the sense of praying for the best, but of happily cherishing whatever comes forward. Not that I am religious or believing in the magic hand of the almighty, my only belief is in life, a wonderful journey through the eternal time.

Blocker

2006-02-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

One of my previous posts stoked quite some interest among friends, wild guesses like life-threatening stories (pregnancy/abortion) were surfacing; and the inquisitive Six Crawl again showed her persistency by trying to trick me into a 20Q game.

It seems I am going nowhere without sweeping the blocking event out of my thought. Not able to find a topic to write about after sitting for more than 30 min in front of the monitor, I will simply type it out for the interested.

Just got off the phone call with my wife, and it's almost final. After her return on Mar 18 (or maybe earlier), she will soon go to Beijing to join a new company. This opportunity emerged during her stay in China. It is not that kind of extremely high-pay job, but definitely one that could put her potentials into use, instead of staying here in the suffocating boredom. I strongly support her taking this up, with a trace of worry.

I first got this news not too much earlier than that post in question. With 2 couples among my closest friends breaking up recently due to the hardship of long-distance relationship, I have every reason to worry about the same. This is going to be hard, but Zhanna's knock-out theory does not apply to me. No matter what happens, I believe it's for good. Dearest wife has already spent her precious years in this wasteland, I believe going to the right place is worth the risk, even at the price of our relationship. Hope I am just worrying too much.

Yet Another Blog

2006-02-20T21:32:00.000-05:00

Six Crawl finally started her blog, with a kid's version by her significant other half.

鱼

2006-02-20T20:29:00.000-05:00

一磅碗鱼一撮盐
一勺香醋五片姜
两勺豆瓣辣酱
暴蒸十分钟
人间极品

Hard to say, too hard to say

2006-02-18T00:56:00.000-05:00

Late night is when people are most vulnerable, mentally.

Life is a bitch, it strikes at the most unexpected moment. I feel weak just when I need to be strong. Just read Milk Bottle's latest post, and felt the same. Although I don't want to pass my time in unconsciousness; one thing is certain, we will survive, we will thrive.

The senseless ramble surely expresses something, something I don't know how to say yet.

Friday

2006-02-17T22:58:00.000-05:00

Another Friday, another weekend; this one is a long one. High temperatures will drop to a little above freezing point, which has precluded the possibility of hiking. Last night when I checked the weather at Adirondack NY for this weekend, I saw -9F as lows, friggin hell. If I could find some company, I probably wouldn't mind being frozen dead in the mountain though.

The gang has been active for as many weekends as my wife's been away. The Eastcoast Gang (TEG) is the largest gang from my college class, so even some hermetic member keeps being absent, there's still a large enough congregation that can only fit in a cargo van.

Life with TEG is hectic, exhausting and fun; although the fun factor has dwindled a little bit when the cold weather has kept us indoors with card/video games for many weekends. When the gang is not in session, I would just make do myself, like today.

It is pretty windy today. As while I'm typing now on a train, I start to worry a little bit about the walk after this ride. It's a 25 min walk from the station to my home, not too far, just enough for me to stretch my crooked bones from sitting all day long when weather is good; it is a different story on rainy/snowy/windy days though. It seems today is still not too bad, I probably will still enjoy this blow. It would be too boring if you have sunshine every day.

I still have some fresh vegetables and frozen shrimps from last weekend in the fridge, will enjoy my cooking again, with a beer. Within maybe 2 hours, I'll be a complete and happy man.

Oh, one thing worth mentioning is that this blog just received the first several comments, among which there is an obscene one by Six Crawl; but I published it anyway as I'm a pretty tolerant person 8-)

P.S.
The wind was not strong in here, so the walk home was ok. Did not have beer, ate too much, no space for beer any more.

Dream Big

2006-02-16T22:36:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I attended a talk with an astronaut, Mike Mullane. Dream Big was what he signed in my copy of his book.

"Many people never know what he's capable of all his life."

That's quite a statement, but I believe it true. Just like what I wrote in a previous piece, most people are carefully calculating risks vs gains on everything. Under such circumstances, who could give it all out for a "very risky" item? Well, maybe it'll be much easier for single orphans. I don't know.

I really don't know. Maybe I am too conservative on everything, which makes me sad.

Anniversary

2006-02-16T22:33:00.000-05:00

First anniversary without wife aside, quite a different experience.

Being quite busy, haven't posted anything here for many days. Today I have to as this is a special special day. I don't want to confess what I'm busy with though.

V-Day

2006-02-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

It's Valentine's Day.

Rose price near the office: $3 for single rose, $8 for 3.

Wife has more or less of decided to come back on March 18, so I've got a solid 1 month ahead of me.

3 Weeks and Counting

2006-02-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

It's already Valentine's Day in China. As both my short-term and long-term memory are quite poor, I have to keep reminding myself about this day, so that my wife wouldn't be mad at me. Well, consider this a small cost for the life with a companion.

Life as a single man is not bad; I've got plenty of interesting things to do, while still don't feel too much of lonelyness. With 3 meals covered by the company on weekdays, I can enjoy cooking some meals or just shamelessly crash into Pangza's home to keep myself from starving. However, imagining living the whole life like this is scary, me coward don't have the gut to try that out.

This reminds me of Robert Kincaid in The Bridges of Madison County. Such a seemingly fulfilling life, as a National Geographic photographer, could not stop him from burning himself into ashes in the heated emotions. Maybe it's always this way, seemingly beautiful stuff is the hardest on the bearer.

Wife has been in China for more than 3 weeks. She told her buddy here that she doesn't want to come back. I am also not so eager to get out of this life either. When time flies, you're enjoying. These 3 weeks did just zip through for both my wife and I; sadly it seems I have achieved nothing except this blog, which is not an achievement after all; all the ambitions have lapsed, or vanished. Anyway, it is still an enjoyable experience.

Snow Day

2006-02-13T21:35:00.000-05:00

It turned out to be the heaviest snow recorded in NYC. I originally thought about getting a bunch of people to Valley Forge on Saturday, so that we could have a pretty good snow fight on Sunday; unfortunately, some people were too scared to travel in snow, some were so deep in sleep that could not be waken up by the mere cell phone ringtone, yet some others were too sick to even be considered an active fighting force.

As the war plan was called off, we headed to New Port, figured maybe this time we could have a healthier weekend as it seems every one had realized endless card games were not so fun at all; the hope was shattered ruthlessly by reality in the end.

The highlight was still the snow. The drive to the hotel on Saturday night was already spicy enough; the drive to Pangza's home the next morning was even more fun. Although my car was almost completely submerged under the snow, I was still able to drive it around. The car pushed through the snow, just like a boat cutting over the open water. Needless to say there were quite some cars stuck in the knee deep snow along the way, frustrated, trying to roar through the hopeless white.

The drive to home was ok. Turnpike was already clean enough for us to cruise at normal speed; Local roads were in pretty bad shape though, even RT-27 was covered with a hard shell of ice. Driving on the curvy tracks were like slow-motion rally racing, you get all kinds of turns, skids, swings, bumps; yet you don't have to pay for the race track. Next time I should just find a parking lot and try out some stunts. After all this is a risk-free opportunity to try out those things, plus it's much less demanding on the car than the real tracks.

Today I Cooked A Meal

2006-02-11T02:00:00.000-05:00

In fact, this is the first complete meal I have cooked ever since my wife is away. It's been 3 solid weeks, and every week it was endless party, thanks to my dearest friends around here. Even today, Six Crawl invited me for dinner as well; thinking that's a bit too much leeching for that young couple, I gratefully said no :)

Cooking is quite fun, and my cooking skill is pretty much ok, as long as I'm willing to spend the time. I can't make very delicious dishes, but I happen to enjoy the taste I can make. Lucky me. Wife sometimes wonders how come I rarely cook, but still can get the taste roughly right, even for those dishes that I've never tried. For most dishes, that actually is not too hard; just decompose the taste and try to paint it back with whatever ingredients you have access to. Well, enough for the boasting, time to get some sleep.

Snow is on the way!!!

2006-02-10T11:31:00.000-05:00

Finally, this weekend, a blizzard of possibly 12.2 inches of snow. What better can life give me? And a possibility of thunder snow, which I have never seen in my life. This is truely the weekend of gift, Yahoo!

Risk Management?

2006-02-09T23:48:00.000-05:00

Before leaving office, I took a small Sam Adams. The good stuff unlocked my stiff mind almost immediately, put my thoughts gliding freely in a borderless darkness. Suddenly I felt all excited and eager to do stupid stuff, like what I saw in the Top Gear clip last night.

Jeremy, the host, raced up and down a mountain in an Audi RS4 with 414 BHP, against Leo who climbed on the cliff bare handed, well, almost. Jeremy lost miserably.

Uphill was shockingly fast for Leo; it took him 1 hr 57 min, fast enough to beat the RS4; going downhill, both parties tried to make best use of gravity. Jeremy didn't have to push hard on the gas, while Leo jumped off the cliff like a bird. That would be the most beautiful 3 seconds of the clip, until a chute came out of his back. "1200 feet in 20 seconds. Beat that Clarkson!"

For a moment, I wished I were Leo.

For many years, I admired such a life, doing irrationally stupid things, constantly puttying yourself on the edge, and risking the precious life; but, is "stupid" the right adjective? Speed and courage are what men craves, no matter how pointless the action itself looks in others' eyes. The motto should be "I come, I see, I conquered"; no asking for what, at what price; those questions are stupid.

However, the calculative reality slowly wears off men's edges, risks are calculated and managed, projects are tagged with feasibility researches, dreams are dead. If things were so calculative, I wonder how the Colossal, or Alexandar's Library, or the numerous wonders, could ever be made into reality. Unfortunately, we are living in an era where risks are managed; fortunately, we, as human being, still have one nation that is never afraid of dreaming.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5252945100827089880, check out from minute 11:00.

On Sleep

2006-02-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

Sleep is a bloody greedy insatiable monster. The more time you give to it, the more it craves for. Irritated and refusing to give it any more? You'll be the one that's crushed. Sometimes it might feel good to be a small-brained and sleepless shark.

Lovely Hearts

2006-02-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

Valentine's day is around the corner, and Google has also joined the chorus.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=valentines&btnG=Google+Search

Enjoy!

Sad Story ---- from Diary

2006-02-07T23:40:00.000-05:00

Here is one story from my diary. This incident gave me quite a shock at that time, and I thought I would remember it for quite a long time. It turned out it didn't last that long. Good that I put that into ink, so now I could be shocked again, for good.

The story was about a mid-aged guy, and the time was quite late after dark. There was no record of what I was doing that late outside that day; given around that period I usually didn't do much meaningful stuff after work, it was quite possible that I just finished a nice dinner with friends in a restaurant, or came out of a kara okay bar, or something of the same sort. As I wasn't spoiled enough to take a taxi home yet, I had the chance to experience this at the bus stop.

It actually wasn't a hectic story; everything happened pretty much quitely. This guy, a little bit dilapidated, mid-aged, was selling newspaper. It was a cold night, so there weren't many people around; for those around, they all hustled towards a warmer place, like home. Suddenly that guy started sobbing, for one obvious reason ---- there was still a pretty big pile of newspapers in front of him. That didn't last long, before he wiped off the tears and started yelling for sales again.

Although I babbled quite a lot about what I thought and what I felt and what I guessed in my diary, I'm not going to put it here. After so many years, those are all irrelevant. All I know is I still feel a heart wrenching guilt for not having helped him while I definitely could. Althought most likely that guy overcame the hardship he experienced that night (or I would rather believe so), and probably has already forgotten what happened what happened, it still cannot acquit me.

While less than 10% of the world's population is enjoying a pretty excessive life, more than 50% are experiencing the other extreme. I don't know how to help because I feel like a coward. My wife and I once talked about experiencing some places where people are extremely deprived of the basic necessities of life, and then we flinched at the thought that we would end up giving up all what we have to help; there simply is no way to be rational under such circumstances. Maybe that's why we all bear sins, whoever has the luxury to go to a church or read the bible all bear sins for not being able to help enough.

After I wrote up the above piece simply based on my impression, I checked for some facts, and it is astonishing; over 2.8 billion people are living on under $2 a day; it's pretty sure most of them are living on even much less than that, if the distribution is really like a triangle.

Pangza's Anniversary

2006-02-05T03:08:00.000-05:00

Three years ago on this day, Pangza was married; and so did Sister Three (a.k.a. Six Crawl). Sounds much of a coincidence, unless it was not. (For the record, it was 2/4/2003)

Today the couple wanted to have a romantic dinner, without Max around. Was a dinner enough? No fruits? They did spend more than 3 hrs on fruits and kept us waiting for that long before the big day. With such an obsessiveness for fruits, it's amazing to see them returning in 2 hrs, straight from dinner and no leeway whatsoever.

The night after dinner was pretty much eventless. The big gang gathered in front of a 17" monitor and watched a movie, after which a subtle atmosphere of amour inevitably grew in the room ...

Music Night

2006-02-05T02:42:00.000-05:00

While I'm alone, I start to try something new. Wife is pretty skittish about sounds when sleeping, whereas I am not. Therefore, I start to put music on throughout the night, although weekends only.

That is a gorgeous experience.

There is a long play list for this, and all tracks are classic music. My favorite musical instrument being classical guitar, music in that is dominant, followed by violin and cello. Pop or country music cannot get into this list, as they don't feel as fluent most of the time, and I don't want to be suddenly waken up by the drummer's impromptu. After several nights' fine tuning (not much), this list is just the right recipe to sooth me into a hypnotized state, and to gently pull me back to reality in the morning with the perfect touch of harmony. The only sadness is that I never have the chance to get the taste of tracks in the middle hours, unless I get up for the bathroom trip which I rarely rarely do.

I remember the years when I had the radio on for the whole long nights from time to time. I'm not sure what the music did or does to my sleep; but in those timeless tunes, my thoughts could just wander into any borderless ecstacy. Finding this neverland again is like getting into touch with a long lost friend, so familiar yet much more to explore.

Top Gear

2006-02-04T13:21:00.000-05:00

Top Gear is a talk program about cars, and it's made in Britain.

The special recipe of it is hard to describe. It is a weird but nice mix of passion, chanting of esthetics, and admiration of fine human engineering; of course a pinch of British humour is also indelible. The guys are passionate, not only about cars, but about anything that eminates beauty. Unforntunately, only several clips and full episodes can be found in Google Video, and none of them are among my favorites.

One of the most astounding machine is the Bugatti Veyron built by Volkswagen. To many people's surprise, Volkswagen actually owns quite some exotic brands like Audi, and Lamborghini; in 1998 Volkswagen bought the right to make cars under the famous Bugatti name. The result is a magic machine that packs as much as 1000 brake horsepower into an astounding looking car: Bugatti Veyron, TWO V8's, 4 Superchargers, 1000 BHP, 0-60 in 2.5 sec, and top speed limited at 252 mph. To put it in perspective, for most cars, making 0-60 in 6 sec would be a pretty good mark already. This is by far the most powerful car, and probably one with the highest price tag: $1.7M when I last checked. Now what's the use of such a car? None in quotidial errands.

However, it's not the blind touting of power and price tags that amazes; it's the proud we feel as a human being that such a magnificant machine could ever be made, and some one would commit all the humongous resources that is required. To be fair, how many people would purchase such a car? And in fact, words are spread that Volkswagen made this car just to showcase the capability of it, and they do lose money on every single Bugatti they sell; and I would rather believe it.

Another fine example is an episode in which the three hosts each drove a super car to le viaduc de Millau, the Millau bridge (slightly boring version), in southern France. Why?

Supercars aren't just glorious poster material for kids' bedroom walls. They are a prime example of man's superiority over animals. Our ability to construct objects of awesome power and exquisite design is what drives us, what inspires us, what constantly says to the dolphin: 'you may be pretty clever, but where are your opposable thumbs, smart arse?'

Our celebration takes us through France until we reach another example of mankind creating splendour just for the sake of it - the epic Millau Bridge.

Such a bridge could only be born in a nation that never skimp on esthetics; and such appreciation of engineering could never be felt by Honda drivers.

One fine clip available on google video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6250016339336225105
It's just road, seat, us, the end.

Diary - Part Deux

2006-02-04T03:06:00.000-05:00

Finally finished reading my diary book late last night; it was boring. Obviously wife had read it all (I never hid it from her), and she added the final piece in it long after I gave up the habbit. Just thinking of the fact that wife had gone through every word in there is a little bit scary, there just are quite some private thoughts that should not have been shared with anybody; and I assume that should be the case with most diary keepers.

Then what is a diary for? If the written record is not to share thoughts, is it only for his or her own consumption at a later time? Or for a memoir? Most people won't have much use of it for sure. Probably keeping a diary just shows the eagerness to be understood and to express oneself, with a conflicting fear of exposing too much of the deepest thoughts; pretty much the same case as when weighing the writing of a love letter, or a confession. In this blog, I do carefully measure what I would like others to see, and what I would rather hide from public eyes. Do I really have much to hide? Probably not. Do people really care much about my little clean or dirty secrets? Maybe. Anyway, the torture of this telling/no-telling has been one of the most powerful driving forces of the finest arts.

Body Weight

2006-02-02T23:19:00.000-05:00

As this data tend to get lost as time goes by, I'm also recording it here. As of today, my weight is 62 kg.

Cross Continent Trip

2006-02-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

The other day Gang of East Coast was planning a cross continent trip. As much as I know that this group does more talk than action, I still hold some hopes. The basic plan would be flying to the west coast, and rent a car to drive back, on which we are going to spend 2 weeks.

Cross continent trips always remind me of Forrest Gump, the dumb headed guy who ran back and forth, and crossed the country 3 times (or more?). When the open road extends in front of you, the temptation of immersing in is irresistible. Once is not enough. I don't know which trip I would prefer better ---- travelling a lonely soul or be with a big gang; both must be treasurable; let alone there are so many different routes leading to different worlds.

Diary

2006-02-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

I sleep pretty late these days, for the enjoyment of a little bit freedom with wife away. It seems time never enough, and every night I end up jumping from fun to fun.

Last night, after a shower, I went to bed, but didn't sleep right away. Instead, I pulled out the last diary I kept; that is the only one we brought here. It started from Nov, 1999, when I just started working, met my wife, prepared for graduate school entrance exam (which was a failed attempt), and enjoyed as well as hated the life as a bachelor.

Most of the pieces are just sporadic records of my daily life, dotted by some not-so-sparkling thoughts. Reflecting the life then, I was amazed. It seemed I had more than enough time to take care of everything; hanging out with friends, playing badminton, swimming, going to movies, jogging nightly, having hot pot, singing kara okay; and all these happen almost on a weekly or monthly basis. Even so, I could still stay in the office for much more than 8 hrs a day. Maybe this was just illusion, caused by reading too many pages in one night. However, one thing is certain ---- life is getting more and more monotonous. Friends cluster into families, seeking opportunities around the globe, no longer share the ups and downs together; movie going becomes more of a purpose rather than an excuse for gathering; when the party is over, one thing called maturity settles in.

In memory of the days when Sun Bin, Lao Fang, Wang Kun, Zhang Jialu, Xu Jing were all regular member of the gang.

We rarely shed tears, that doesn't mean we're any less moved.

Brokeback Mountain

2006-02-01T22:04:00.000-05:00

I love it.

By imposing the finest emotions unto the roughest mansculine figures, a strong contrast is already in the making. Whereas hetero- love stories depict love with kiss, hug and endless love talk, cowboys express their feelings with fist and blood. Though it is certain that scenes of kissing men would irritate stubborn-heads, who is to say who is right? There was a time when lefthandedness was considered devilish; strong beliefs today could seem ridiculously ridiculous tomorrow.

Lovers risk their lives. I don't know how true that could be; I personally have never been pushed to that extreme. For the sake of the stories, such sacrifice does feel tangible though. As life comes once with every human being, the following quotes sounds reasonable (from the latest issue of National Geographic):

> Love and obsessive-compulsive disorder could have a similar chemical profile.
> Love and mental illness may be difficult to tell apart.
> Don't be a fool. Stay away.

Also a natural explanation/assumption of the endurance of passion, although irrelevant, I can't resist putting it here:

> Relationships frequently break up after four years because that's about how long it takes to raise a child through infancy.

Finalization Company?

2006-01-31T21:08:00.000-05:00

Someone from a company called UCB or UCD left a message at my home, asking me to call back and discuss a "very urgent matter". Sounds scary? It does to me.

As I could not recall any relationship with a business like that, or any business that could use that abbreviation, I called back and asked; however the only answer to my question was "this is highly confidential, this is a finalization company, did she mention in the massage that some relative was looking for you". Well, everybody that knows me personally would know I have no relatives whatsoever in the US except probably my wife, who is not here at the moment either. Now who the hell knows what a finalization company is? A company specializes in writing Java finalize() methods? Anyway, the point of contact was not there, and they could not locate my file, so I have no way to know what kind of urgency that is.

I did bite on the golden dumpling (a dumpling with a penny in it) at the Lunar New Year's Eve dinner, does that give me the reason of hoping something big? Maybe Bill Gates is looking for me? Well, a fit of lunaticism is coming to my head again...

Quail (鹌鹑)

2006-01-31T11:26:00.000-05:00

Quail is Var.

Adage by My Niece

2006-01-31T11:23:00.000-05:00

She is only 6 yrs old.

"Think about having little money when you have enough; think about having no money when you have little; think about happiness when you have no money at all."

Lunar New Year's Eve

2006-01-31T10:49:00.000-05:00

(Oh man, I'm supposed to work from home this morning; but well, if I want to play the catch up thing with the writing, guess better let it go.)

Invitation was extended by Yilei a week ago for the New Year's Eve dinner. Rule said every couple should prepare a dish. As my wife was away, I could hardly be counted as a couple. However, I decided to show the world I am able to do more than eating. My dish was two steamed fish with shredded pepper, sure those are good :)

After dinner was routinely the card games. One upbeat about it is that recently we've introduced physical punishment, from crawling under a table or chair, to doing push-ups for male and sit-ups for female. I ended up doing a lot of push-ups. Fortunately the record of "six crawl" has never been broken.

Games lasted till around 4:00am.

Ski Trip - Day 2

2006-01-31T10:22:00.000-05:00

The second day of the ski trip went as planned, and everything was more or less planned.

Snow mobiling in the morning was fun, cruising at an average speed of 15 mph, top speed about 30 mph; the guide was too cautious. Only less than 1 min from the base, a guy already hit a tree.

The returning bus was at 12:00pm, which left no time for lunch. Returning trip took longer due to the traffic. When arrived at the office, I worked for a while before finally going home.

The night was fun. Lingering alone, I touched almost everything I like at least once. When I finally decide to go to bed, it was already 3:30. Given I was supposed to call Shanghai early next/this morning for new year's greeting (Sat was the Lunar New Year's Eve), I almost gave up the several hrs of sleep; but I didn't, and got up at 7:40 in the morning.

Pangza's joke about my ADHD-like behavior: wife was away, and hot-tubbing with other people's wives excited me too much. Whatever it be, I enjoyed the night alone.

Why suddenly I started jogging down all these crap

2006-01-31T10:16:00.000-05:00

The foremost reason, is that my wife is not around, so I've got quite some time to waste: by sleeping 1 to 2 hrs later than before, there are plenty of uninterrupted intervals.

Do I care whether there's any reader? Probably, probably not. At least I will be reading this 30 yrs down the road, if I am still alive around that time (which should be the case).